I feel like it's all my fault.
When I first met Chris, I had thought of him as just a friend. After knowing him for a few months, we started liking one another. I was with another person at the time, and I know this is awful, but I left that person for Chris. That caused a series of dramatic events that I'd prefer to not share. But anyway, after a couple weeks of us going out, I had yet again met someone else. But this time, I did not leave Chris. I don't know why I didn't save him the pain. I was just a foolish child. After a week of that, I had found out from his brother that Chris had shot himself. I didn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it. Eventually, I found that it was true. I have matured since then, but it still eats me up inside every day. I should have told him. I should have let him find someone who treated him better than I did. Maybe he would still be alive right now. Maybe he wouldn't have wanted to kill himself to be with Jessie. Maybe I wouldn't want to kill myself just to say I'm sorry.