I feel so empty and lost

by maria

I sit here at my daughter house. and Even though the furniture is moved around I can still see my Jimmy laying on the couch in his last week in life. I miss him terrible. My heart just can't seem to go on I just go through the motions. There is a few moments of joy here and there. But most of the time I just feel so lonely even while I am doing something with others. I wonder how long I will be alone. Will anyone ever love me again. Its still hard to think he is gone but he is. I need him to let me feel his presence and feel the peace I had when he was with me. Oh Honey life is so very lonely without you. XoxxOOXxOx Tiamo my love. always in my heart.

Comments for I feel so empty and lost

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Jun 19, 2011
The couch


Do you live with your daughter? Is that where the couch is? If I miss understood I apologize. The couch is a source of much pain for you. The last few times that you mentioned that you can not get the vision of him on that couch out of your head really makes me think...Get rid of the couch. Goodwill has couches for 50 bucks though it will not get rid of the awful memories that replay in our head it does not force it every time we walk into the room.

I have completely redone the house. Painted 3 rooms and tossed alot of the furniture. The memories were too much for me to bear. Every one has their own way of dealing with the things that made it home. To keep things exactly as they were or to adjust them differently. Very personal and gut wrenching either way. I hope that you have some peaceful days ahead where your weary mind can rest.

Jun 18, 2011
Empty and Lost in grief


The loneliness is the hardest part to conquer.
Even when the good days begin to out number the bad, we wonder if we will ever have that kind of Love again. And even if we are not ready for that we still want...something, to help the anguish the loneliness dissipate just a little to make life bearable.

I found myself wanting, needing something and even when looking at possible candidates in which to spend time with to help quelch the empty space in my heart, I realized that I compared them all to Paul.

That is when I decided that first I must be comfortable with myself. To be the best that I can before I can invite another in my heart. I am not ready even a year and a half later. So I suppose this is the tail end of acceptance and it has been the worst life ride of my life. Things will get better, I promise. And I always keep my promises always...

Jun 18, 2011
It Takes Time
by: TrishJ

I just passed the 6 month journey. It has been a bumpy ride. For the first three months I felt like I just wanted to get out of the house before I burst. Christmas was approaching and every. I where I went I saw couples shopping together. I would have a full blown panic attack and have to go home. I tried to do things with friends and family. As soon as I got places with them I immediately knew I didn't want to be there. I was angry at God....why...why?
I come to terms with Joe's death. I still cry a bit and miss him daily. Some days are worse than others.
I think I've made some progress. I've accepted that he is gone and not coming back. It's just so hard. I'm living completely on my own for the first time in my life and actually enjoying it.
Keep praying and believing you will see him again some day. This is not something I want to believe, I believe it. Our husbands are waiting for us. They want us to be as happy as possible so we just have to keep going like The Little Engine That Could....I know I can...I know I can.
Peace and hugs.

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