i feel so empty, he was my life.

by judy

my father was 91 when he died nov. 14 2009 at home, i was his sole caretaker, it was really alot of responsibility, but i wish he was still here. when i found him it was really like a bad dream, he'd always say 'one of these mornings i'll be gone" i haven't been to his grave at all since the funeral, its a double stone, my mom died in 1995 i used to visit her at least once a year. his birthday is in march it was always a special day for him , i'm thinking about going then he would have been 93 march 19 2011.

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Sep 07, 2011
God bless you
by: Anonymous

I lost my dad four weeks ago today. .he had esophagus cancer and had lived across the road from me for the last 5 years. .sick for the last 3, really sick for about 6 months. .on tube feedings and couldn't swallow even a sip of water the past 3 or 4 months. .i miss him so much. .my world and that of my husband revolved around daddy and his needs. .the last 10 days of his life, he was in terrible pain and on morphine, but up until that time. .he was alert and just hated "being a burden to us" but he never was a burden. .i just didn't know grief would be this hard. .he is all i can think about. .i can't focus. .eating too much. .stressed . .can't think. .it is so hard. .hope you are coming to better terms with your loss. .i'm trying to let God in to comfort me, but even that is hard. .good luck and God bless. .sherry

Jan 04, 2011
So sorry
by: melissa

Hi Judy,

I am so sorry about your Dad. I know how hard it is. I too, lost my Gram, who raised me at the end of October. She has always been my best friend, and my rock. I took care of her at her nursing home everyday for 8 years. She was such a huge part of my life.

I realized being a caregiver makes things even harder when someone passes, as you mourn the person,as well as have so much empty time. Even though it was hard to be there twice a day everyday, I only wish I could do it again, for many more years. I miss her terribly. She was always such a rock for me, I can't believe she is really gone. She got through so many illnesses, and fought to stay here for so long, and I know she did it for me. The emptiness I have in my heart will never go away.

I am praying for you in this horribly difficult time. It is such a tough road to walk, and I am sure finding that out now. If you ever want to chat, I am here.

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