I found them dead!

by Cody
(Fort worth)

I would like to say I can make it through just about anything strongly but....In 02' I made it to my mom and dads home after my mother calls me telling me that my dad had shot himself . When i get there his remains were still on the wall. It was horrible. Finding my mother 8 years later dead, covered in blood and nude suffering from a herniated stomach was like a bad dream. Two weeks later my grand father goes into a coma only to come out a month and a half later unable to walk. My uncle who was taking care of them died 6 moths after my mother and I had to come help them. The following Sunday I found my grandfather passed away on the floor. 7 days after that my other grand mother died. I'm now taking care of my only family left, my grandmother, who has dementia. Even though shes really gone for the most part I still hang on because I dont have the heart put her in a home. My days are the most struggling I've ever delt with. I want to close my eyes at times but still see everything like it was yesterday. I resorted to vodka to kill the pain but know its only me next if I don't cope. This really sucks! I keep telling myself a lot worse things have happen to a lot better people but..... They say it will all work out, what a lame thing to say. Mostly it just sucks!

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May 19, 2014
I found them dead!
by: Doreen UK

Cody you have been through the mill of suffering losing so many family members in such a tragic way. This is unbearable, and unbelievable for you to cope with. It sounds as if you have no support in place to help you? You have just been soldiering on trying as best as you could to cope with it all when another family member dies. I doubt if you have had time to get your head around all the loss so you can grief each loss separately. I think you would benefit from seeing a counsellor so you can be supported throughout the loss and what you are doing now as a carer. Caring for someone with dementia is such a tough challenge and I applaud you for your strength and decision to keep on caringn. You also need to take care of yourself. Try doing special things for yourself each day and make it become a way of life. This way you will be nurturing yourself into healing from all the tragedies you have had to cope with. I hope that your days ahead will help you put some strategies and support in place for yourself to help make this burden of grief easier. I am sorry for all your losses of family, and for the challenges still affecting your life and your Peace.

May 17, 2014
by: Anonymous

I am dearly sorry for all your losses. You are such a fine human being to provide and care for your family. Most importantly you yourself needs to be healthy. Please arrange some counseling as you need to speak with someone to handle so much grief that you have endured throughout the past years. It's not your fault. God bless you.

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