I hadn't realized how much I still needed him until he was gone.

by Jo

I am 29 years old female with three little boys. My dad loved them like crazy. But I live far away from my family so we would only see each other 2-3 times a year. We did email back and forth almost daily (sometimes 2-3 times a day). We talked on the phone about once a week, when he would randomly call me and check up on the boys and me and my husband. He is the only person in my family that took the time to talk to call me and email me and generally check up on me. My dad had health issues on and off my whole life and I expected that one day, he would go because of those many issues. But 2 weeks ago, when my youngest was 7 weeks old to the date and one day after my parents 39th wedding anniversary, my parents were in a car accident that took his life suddenly. I wasn't prepared for this, I didn't get to say goodbye, or see him one last time. He was supposed to come and visit when my son was 8 weeks old, but he died a week before he could come out. He was only 63 and my 57 year old mom is a widow now. I don't know how to deal with this. My dad was a good driver but there was nothing he could have done to avoid this accident. The other driver that hit them was driving the wrong way down the road about to make a left hand turn, my dad pulled onto the shoulder, unaware that they were turning, so they were hit anyway. I just feel lost.

Comments for I hadn't realized how much I still needed him until he was gone.

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Sep 28, 2014
Hi Jo, I need your help!
by: Jennie

I am so very sorry for your loss, my condolences. For better access to advice and support, please click on "The Grief Club" button on the left for access to the new Forum. We want to keep this great online grief resource going and need your help! Please re-post this or put a new submission there. All your friends are waiting...

Hi Pat from Green Bay, and Anonymous MI:

Could you please contact me via "Contact Us" button to the left? I need your help for the transition. Thanks so much!

Sep 27, 2014
by: Anonymous

Dear Jo, I am so sorry to read about your father. Almost two years ago, my father died suddenly. No chance to say goodbye - in an instant he was gone and my whole world shattered. He was a very big part of my life and I could always turn to him for advice. Even as a grown woman, I needed him. He was the best Dad and the best grandfather, and I think about him every single day. Treasure the beautful memories and love. Time will help you heal, and it will get easier. I will keep you in my thoughts - wishing you comfort, Barb

Sep 24, 2014
Not alone
by: D

It is so clear that your father loved you and your children. It is also clear how much you loved your father. I am so sorry for your loss. I unepexpectedly lost my dad last year. He was 63 and I was 29 too, like you. It is hard and nothing seems to really make it better or provide any sense to things. However, the good memories of our dads are something that are special and are ours. These memories and positive traits of our fathers are something that we can share with others.

Sep 21, 2014
I hadn't realized how much I still needed him until he was gone.
by: Doreen UK

Jo I am sorry for your loss of your dad to a sudden death from a tragic accident. There will always be some person who is careless to cause the death of an innocent person. Which is why it is a good idea for all of us to ask God for travelling mercies on the road. We never know what we are saved from, or when it will be our last call to God to save us from some disaster. A man so young and who had his retirement to look forward to. Your mom being a young widow and so hard to bear such a loss.
I lost my husband of 44yrs. to a deadly cancer 2yrs.4months ago and this is the very worst loss a spouse can face in the latter years of their lives. Hard also for any grandchildren who will be facing such a hard battle in grieving this loss also. The best way forward is by TAKING ONE DAY AT A TIME! and giving yourself time to heal from this loss. Your mother will also need support and may find it helpful to seek grief counselling so that her needs will be supported at this difficult time.

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