I hate cancer and miss my mumma!
Cancer you hear that dreadful word and assume the worst, in this case this word would destroy a family. My family. My mother was like the glue that kept us all together she adopted my brother and I and I believe her purpose was to give us a chance in life that we wouldn’t otherwise have her strength and stubbornness kept us from falling, we had many happy years until that day, mum was doing well with chemo and treatment for although they could only offer palliative care to prolong her life she got 2 years two wonderful memory filled special years. She began her journey with ovarian after a full hysterectomy and chemo she gained 4 weeks in remission amazing we all had hope, but the cancer came back with vengeance. Peritoneal cancer it took her stole her, I cared for my mum and watched her progressively suffer, she stopped eating and drinking as she had a blockage and her body projected bile more than iv seen and so she became dehydrated and weak. The last few days were a blur my mum forgot who I was at times, she became childlike and then would come back to herself and be angry that she’d forgotten me. I stayed with her 24/7 her skin was dry her eyes glazed over like her soul was leaving her. My mum always wanted to live and fight and now she had a need to go she hated it and begged us to show her how to die. She perked up the day before she died kissed me told me she loved me and other family. The following day mum was unable to speak, unable to rid the vomit from her mouth it poured from her nose and then it stopped she tried to speak but it was like her mouth was sewn together. I held her and she started vomiting her own faeces the smell was vile I scooped it out, I felt like she was being tortured. I pleaded for someone to save her. In the last few seconds mum stopped she half smiled said I love you love my children cried which she hadn’t been able to do due to dehydration and then took 3 gasping breathes and was gone, those gasps were horrific waiting for the next one waiting for her to come back but she didn’t I still can’t lose this image and would do anything for just a few seconds to see her happy and peaceful and safe I LOVE HER for fighting and being strong right up until the end and even then her strength was empowering. A true gift my mother was to us I laid with mum just holding her for a while and now I pray just for another second with her my life now is well empty my heart broken the glue gone.