I have felt that hurt... & still do
(Big Lake, AK)
I lost my black lab, best friend, love of my life, Bandit on June 17, 2010 and found this page. I have met some great folks on this site and continue to be friends with them. The pain was unbearable and I was inconsolable. Horrible horrible time. The one thing I learned was no one was giving me advice, info, lectures - nothing anyone said would have ever, ever made me feel better. But yet no one wanted to listen to me talk and cry. It was just such an awful time; so I feel for the folks who just lost their loves. There is no pain like it on earth. I did try talking to a priest and going to grief counseling but nothing at all eased that cry-all-the-time pain; and the longing and missing.. ugg it's horrible. But, I would go outside at night and talk to my boy via the stars. For some reason I felt close to him and it really brought me hope (hope as in I'm gonna spend eternity with him and that I couldn't wait to be with him again). Now almost 2 years later, I still ache for him all the time but you really do just become a different person and just have to enter into a new life. Especially when it's just the two of you. I guess I needed something to "put out there" and it's not much but I made a Facebook page... "Stars are holes in the floor of Heaven". It may not relieve pain for everyone but Bandit and I loved the outdoors and I don't know,, to this very day I talk to him at night and feel like he can hear me. So check it out,, I was where you are now and we all need something, anything to get us through that awful, wrenching, brutally painful time.