I Have Lost Everything
My husband of 31 years died on 01/11/11. I do not know what caused his death because he died during an ice storm and the autopsy results will still be a while. I found him dead on the bed trying to get dressed. I was mad at him that day and I let him know it and now my guilt is tearing me apart. We owned a small HVAC business together and because of the horrible economy we had lost our home of 16 years, our life insurance and now I am left with absolutely nothing. I am relying on my family to survive. Not only am I grieving his death but I am grieving the loss of my entire life. I am a huge burden and I just want to die. If it was not for my grown children I would already be dead but I am trying to get through this I just dont know how.
I feel like my life is over. I have nothing to live for. I am so alone. I know I should seek help but I have no money. I have tried to find a job but we all know what that is like right now and don't know if I could function if I did have one. I am mad that he left me. I am mad at God for taking him and I am mad at myself for being mad at him that day and not letting him know how much I loved him. He was my entire life.