I Have Lost Everything

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I Have Lost Everything

by Terri
(Marietta, GA)

My husband of 31 years died on 01/11/11. I do not know what caused his death because he died during an ice storm and the autopsy results will still be a while. I found him dead on the bed trying to get dressed. I was mad at him that day and I let him know it and now my guilt is tearing me apart. We owned a small HVAC business together and because of the horrible economy we had lost our home of 16 years, our life insurance and now I am left with absolutely nothing. I am relying on my family to survive. Not only am I grieving his death but I am grieving the loss of my entire life. I am a huge burden and I just want to die. If it was not for my grown children I would already be dead but I am trying to get through this I just dont know how.

I feel like my life is over. I have nothing to live for. I am so alone. I know I should seek help but I have no money. I have tried to find a job but we all know what that is like right now and don't know if I could function if I did have one. I am mad that he left me. I am mad at God for taking him and I am mad at myself for being mad at him that day and not letting him know how much I loved him. He was my entire life.

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I Have Lost Everything

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Don't need to die
by: Anonymous

You don't need to die have a new beginning. In life you can have a million or billion dollars but are you happy with all the money. Some will be happy some won't be happy. I myself have lost things in my life too but I need to cope on living too. Sometimes you lost stuffs and you can't take it back at all. If you lost your love one's maybe you can find another one in a short time. If you lost money or whatever you can have another chance to get back your money later. Just live your life and try new things to survive. If you can't find a job try new things maybe it will be better or you will find success soon. Maybe join a new organization or start a business as soon as possible. So you dont need to DIE now or wanted to SUICIDE in a few days.

Grief Share
by: Anonymous

May I recommend the web site Grief Share to you? They are a wonderful nationwide grief assistance group. There should be many locations to choose from in your area. Just go on to the website www.griefshare.com and put your zip code in. The meetings are held at local churches and are absolutely free. Please sign up for the daily emails. They are a huge help.

I too am in your situation. My husband was very ill before he passed away several months ago. All of our resources were depleted during his illness. We lost our home, I quit my job to take care of him. I'm currently living in my sister's home ~ her entire family is getting on my last nerve. I feel stuck. My children (young adults ~ both married) have moved on. They care about me but they are both so busy. I sit and cry and feel sorry for myself. The days are long and lonely.

We all need to depend on God to get us through this. God and this wonderful website.
Blessings to you and please check out the web site.

I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL
by: Anonymous

I KNOW YOUR PAIN DEAR IM ALSO GRIEVING OVER MY HUSBAND ITS THE HARDEST THING TO EVER GO THOUGH BUT GOD IS OUR ONLY HOPE I UNDERSTAND YOUR MAD RIGHT NOW SO WAS I BUT NOT AT GOD MY IN LAWS CAUSE THEY ALWAYS WANTED TO TARE US APART BUT NEVER WORKED THEY ARE BOTH GONE BUT IF YOUR HUSBAND WAS A CHRISTIAN MAN THEN U HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE RIGHT? I KNOW IT HURTS DANIEL WAS MY LIFE TOO WE WERE ONE IN GOD & IN MARRIAGE DANIEL LEFT THIS LIFE 1-7-2010 TO BE WITH JESUS. GOD BLESS YOU. AH

Praying for you
by: Debir

I truly understand how you're feeling. (Hubby died 9-21-10) And I know that those who have not lost someone so close (in God's eyes, our souls are joined as one with marriage) cannot really grasp the depth of our loss and how it affects every part of our life. I too struggle financially, in part due to his (no longer "ours" it seems) children's greed (long story). My own children (who Ambrose treated as "ours") are trying to help me, but have their own $$ struggles. Because his death has changed every aspect of your life, it may seem like all is lost. Please believe that some things are just on hold. Grief is VERY HARD WORK and I don't claim to be doing it successfully, but remember that your friends/family/and even strangers care (even though it's hard to see/feel) and that time will soften (no, never erase) the pain. You are in my prayers doll!

Hope....
by: Kymberly

Terri, I'm reaching out as I too am grieving a loss. Every minute of every hour I have thought what could I have done differently. I know your angry at God right now, but I found in having no money a priest was always willing to talk to me, to listen and attempt to understand my pain. I'm not a super religious person...but I have got to pick myself back up. I can't continue to not function, I can't give up. I hope you find some peace. I've prayed for it every day since my loss.

Lost everything
by: M Mack

Terri,

I am really sorry for your loss. This grief is the worst pain for everyone to shoulder and you are not alone. The fact that you were angry with him, the day of doesn't mean you didn't love him and I'm sure he knows that. We are human and to forgive and forget rings true in all relationships. Don't be so hard on yourself. There is much more going on than you getting mad and his passing. You are not the blame or responsible for Gods plans. It's out of your control and even though you are feeling you were the problem - you are not the reason this happened. Get some support from a church. Look online for support groups in the area that are free. You won't believe the free help there is out there if you look for it. Come to this site anytime since everyone here has been through these feelings. I hope you get some closure when the autopsy is reported. For now hang in there- take your time with this process and know you are not alone. You have my prayers.

Losing everything
by:

Terri,

Things are rough all over. I have kin in GA and I know that that as many other places are dry job wise. Do not feel ashamed or alone. You can come here and lean on us any time. Also you can find grief meetings through churches or call the cope line listed in the phone book they will guide you to some help.

We have all argued with our Loves. I know that personally I have had some doozies over the dumbest stuff. I know it seems like you have lost everything and things seem helpless.

We have all lost every thing or anything that mattered financially and emotionally. You are not alone, we share your grief. Take things day by day. You will piece your life together, I know that sounds impossible but we all are trying to do just that. There are others here living with family trying to make it on their own and succeeding. Our lives are all evolving into a new life its hard but I promise you you will make it. Hold on just one step at a time.
HH

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I Have Lost Everything