I have Lost the Love of My Life

by Jamie
(London England)

My husband and I met later in life, I was 54 and he was 54, he had a long unhappy marriage, and I had been thru two relationship that didn't work out. When we met in 2010 it was love at first sight, he is the most kindest, funniest, loving person I had ever met.

We laughed, acted like little kids, enjoyed quiet times, and crazy times together. I enjoyed every single minute when I was with him. He treated me like a princess, and always told me I was a gift to the world. I couldn't believe I was so lucky to meet my soul mate. We marred in February 2012. We have a summer place by a lake, and he enjoyed going there immensely, I had to go to work in London England, so he decided to go to the lake and fish for the time I was away. He went out in his boat on April 30, 2013, send me a picture from the boat at 10:45 am, I didn't get it until 12:15 pm his time, I commented "Nice picture Honey, he replied "Thanks Honey", I called him within 10 minutes, and he didn't answer, I continued to call and still no answer, I finally called a neighbour who advised me he didn't return, I knew at that moment he was gone. I rushed back to home which took a day to get there, my family immediately drove to our lake lot, and began the search, it took two weeks to find him. We were married for 14 months, and together for 3 years. I cannot put into words, the heartbreak and physical pain I have endured and still endure to this day. He is and always will be the love of my life.

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Jun 27, 2013
I have lost the love of my life
by: Doreen U.K.

Jamie I am sorry for the loss of your husband in such a short space of time to a tragic and sudden death. Life is so very unpredictable. We Love and Fear in case we may lose what we are enjoying. Often it is when we are so happy and contented with life that it all goes wrong and leaves us wondering WHY? None of us expect something to go wrong when we are at the height of our lives and happy.
You lost your husband 14 months ago and I lost my husband of 44yrs. 14 months ago to cancer. I know the pain of grief when you love one so deeply. I feel crushed by my loss as you must feel this way also. It is so hard having to grieve and then go on with life with all the emptiness and lonliness that we can't quite get used to as our new way of life.
I live in London England also. We have CRUSE bereavement services who are invaluable at helping us get through grief. If you feel it difficult to move forward then try and see CRUSE. It is not uncommon to need support when someone has died a sudden death. Even after 14 months of loss I feel my loss more now and more crushing. I feel so lost now. I live with retirement all alone now and he is not here to enjoy it. It doesn't matter how much I put into life now it is not the same and never can be. I wish you every comfort and support to help you through these difficult months ahead.

Jun 27, 2013
Lost the Love of My Life
by: Pat J.Green Bay,WI

Dear Jamie,
It is devastating when we loose the love of our life. I am so sorry for your loss. All of us on this site who have lost a spouse truly understand what you are going through.
Today, June 27, 2013, it is 2 years that I lost the Love of My Life. He died from a massive heart attack. Our 46th wedding anniversary was on June 26th, the day before; which was 48 years yesterday.
You lost your spouse on April 30th. Everything is oh so fresh. I still remember this day 2 years ago, like it happened today; the numbness, the feeling of nausea, the fog, I seemed to walk in, the awful ache in my heart. That ache in my heart is still there. I feel it will always be here.
I slowly learn how to go on without him. I felt I had a perfect life; God showed me, nothing is perfect in this life. I oh so wish my husband was still here. He isn't, and the thought of going on without him still hurts. I feel a part of us died right along with our husbands.
We really just want to hide from the world. Seeing couples together hurts so much, seeing others kiss and hold hands, hurts so much.
I joined a grief support group through my church and developed a friendship with three other widows. We still are there for each other. Two of us have found a relationship with another man. I can't seem to do that. In my heart I want my husband. If I can't have him, I'm learning to be alone. I have 5 adult children and 8 grandchildren; so I am told by them, I will never be alone. Yet, I can be with all of them and still feel alone.
My faith in my God and knowing one day I will be with my husband again, keeps me going.
God will be walking with all of us on our journey of grief. I often feel alot of times God must be carrying me to have made it this far without my husband. I was 64 when he died; he was 67. He was a part of my life since I was 15, married him at 18.
I now am learning to live for myself. I talk to God and my husband everyday.
You too will make it. Keep coming to this site and read all the posts. It truly helps. Take it One Day at a Time.

Jun 27, 2013
Thank you
by: Jamie

To Doreen, who wrote a lovely heartfelt message to me, Thank you so so much for the wonderful message. It is so appreciated, and I will look into the grieving program you have mentioned. I believe I did contact one service but it is a 6 -8 week delay in seeing someone. If you are in London, and would like to meet for a coffee, I would welcome that. No pressure though, I know how you feel.

My prayer to you, is that you make through each day, and hopefully one day you learn to smile again and be at peace. Jamie

Jun 27, 2013
I have lost the love of my life
by: Doreen U.K.

Jamie I am sorry for the loss of your husband in such a short space of time to a tragic and sudden death. Life is so very unpredictable. We Love and Fear in case we may lose what we are enjoying. Often it is when we are so happy and contented with life that it all goes wrong and leaves us wondering WHY? None of us expect something to go wrong when we are at the height of our lives and happy.
You lost your husband 14 months ago and I lost my husband of 44yrs. 14 months ago to cancer. I know the pain of grief when you love one so deeply. I feel crushed by my loss as you must feel this way also. It is so hard having to grieve and then go on with life with all the emptiness and lonliness that we can't quite get used to as our new way of life.
I live in London England also. We have CRUSE bereavement services who are invaluable at helping us get through grief. If you feel it difficult to move forward then try and see CRUSE. This is not uncommon to need support when someone has died a sudden death. Somehow we can't quite get over the shock and it stays with us for a long time stopping us from moving forward. Even after 14 months of loss I feel my loss more now and more crushing. I feel so lost now as I live with retirement all alone and he is not here to enjoy it. It doesn't matter how much I put into life now it is not the same and never can be. I wish you every comfort and support to help you through these difficult months ahead.

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