I have the best part of him with me all the time

(Silver Spring, MD)

My marriage was wrong from the start, but we tried to make it work. Years rolled by...10 years. Children were born. One day, after years of isolation and abuse, I decided to plan to leave. It took two years of planning and strengthening my body and mind to undergo the transformation that was necessary to survive whatever came my way and protect my children.

Movies are made about the kind of courage it takes to do what I did. So, after the fear and survival mentality came the anger. Unbelievable anger. And yet, I have a soft spot in my heart for him, because I have the best part of him with me all the time. Our children soften my heart and then I'm mad at myself for letting myself feel this way.

The good thing is that they have both of us...we live about 10 minutes apart. The bad thing for me...we live about 10 minutes apart. So...I'm trying to find a balance...yeah, that's where I am...It's been 3 years since the divorce...We all have dinner together about once a month. I have wonderful people around me. And yet...somehow, I'm still grieving. I know I am...because I have road rage like you wouldn't believe.