I have to go to Probate court for my husband who died June 16 2011 on the 16th anniversary of my husband before him died of a heart attack
by Terry Chuculate
Alone- we were alone when Smitty had a heart attack and died right in front of me -August 28 1996-
Alone again- we were alone when David died in the living room in a hospital bed on June 16 2011
and here I am now, alone- I don't have any children - but I have more peace now that I know others haven"t "just gotten over it"...
the liver cancer was the worst, I promised David I wouldn't let any of his family see him so sick- so i took care of him around the clock for 3 weeks- with the support of Hospice- but it was the most horrible thing- and we had to fight for everything- I had to call Washington DC and VISN in Mississippi to get the VA to do a liver biopsy- it took 5 months! He was a 100% disabled Vietnam Vet- my dear David- said he was ready to go- I said I wasn't ready for him to go- but that last AM, he looked soooo bad- I just screamed "Jesus, please help my man!" and the death rattle stopped right then and he went on- but I'm still here and I want to scream all the time- does any one else feel like that?
I put an "airsoft" gun from Walmart that looks like an M16, barrel cemented in the ground with a Vietnam era helmet on it and a dog tag that says "Big Honey" on it on the left front of his grave like they do when a soldier dies in battle- he wasn't a "flower sort of a guy"- I miss him so much, my heart hurts.