I just miss him
I did not really get my act together until after my father passed. I love and idolize him very much. He was a gentle, loving and patient man. He never gave me a bad time for being all screwed up but always just passed on his wisdom and comfort. He passed when I was 30 years old working on my last year at college. I'm 38 years old now and really wish he could have met my wife and child and seen that I turned out OK. On his death bed he was in a delirium, in and most out of consciousness. During that time he said some brutally honest things about me pertaining to my mediocrity. I just want him to see that I turned out OK and wish I could let him know how important his values were in shaping me.