I just want my wife and son back

by michael lynn posey
(dallas, tx usa)

It started on 12-09-2002, my wife and son were arguing. He pushed her, which started me and Bryan fighting, She got on the phone and called the Dallas police for help, we told them he was out of control. They arrested him, then five hours later there was a knock on our front door it seemed to echo forever. It was the police they told us Bryan Merkell Posey had hung himself and was dead. Well he would not do that; in fact if the whole world was on a suicide list, me and Bryan would be at the very bottom. Anyway fast forward to 1-1-2008 we were going to my brothers house for new years day dinner, I woke up around 7am did not see my wife. I found her in the seat of my truck, she had shot herself and was dead.
No note, no nothing, no clues, all we can figure is she had always felt responsible for Bryans death and just could not deal with it anymore

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Jun 15, 2012
I am lost.
by: Drew

I came home on May 16th, 2012 from my first day of summer classes at UT Chattanooga. I found my wife in our bedroom, gun smoke still in the air, moments after she had used my 9mm Luger with critical home defense hollow points against her left temple. She had prepped our house for new furniture I had forced her to go out and pick, to try to cheer her up, she wrote Luanna (hearts) Andrew with a smiley face, put the gun to her head and pulled the trigger. She was 25 years old. She was my whole world, I feel lost. The pain is unbearable. The image stuck in my mind's eye, the smell of her death is stuck in my nostrils, and my mind is replacing all strong smells with it. The smell and image of her in her white casket (They tried to make me leave, but I refused, I closed the coffin lid on her.) are stuck with me as well. Tomorrow is one month from her death. I miss her so much. I googled "How to deal with your wife shooting herself," and found this. I made a facebook page to try to make new friends, because her and my bassist were my only friends. I pray to God, and reassure him that nothing he can do to me will make me disloyal. But I feel as if I am going through the motions, If I had gone straight home instead of stopping at the store, if I had gotten rid of my gun, if I was a better man.. if, if, if.. I am seeing a VA counselor, a very smart and funny guy, who distracts me temporarily each visit, but I think he knows I am screwed.

I don't even know why I am writing this.

Apr 23, 2010
The letter
by: Leah

Mike you now have my heart, I love you. This is to all who reads. I can relate to you on losing your wife, but not your son, and don't ever want that.

I can tell every one what has helped me through losing my dad in 1997 and my husband 2006. When you are feeling at your worst and trying to understand, sit down and write them a letter and GOD too if you want, to ask that "ONE" question "WHY"? Write them any time you think about them. As you think of things, write it down in a letter.

I have a trunk, I have all of my letters to GOD, dad & Vince sealed up. I have figured out the "WHY" just 2 weeks ago for my husband and I feel so much better now that I have one of my two answers...It has taken over 13 yrs and still no answer.

My husband over 3 1/2 years and a Tagged Friend (internet) helped me figure his answer out. Long story on that (will post under Write a Letter in about 2 or 3 days) but the point is I do feel better about losing them and understand. I still have the pain every minute, but it has gotten easier.

Love always and forever,

Apr 01, 2010
I know how you feel
by: Tanya

I lost my dad to suicide. Almost 3yrs now. Strange I find myself still asking why and how could he, did I not do something to stop it? These questions will never be answered for me. My mother died in 2005 very suddenly with no warning, he was there with her when it happened. She was his everything. But he never got over losing her or asked for help in dealing with his grief.

I am only 36 and needed him! I was always looking after my dad and somehow I knew it was going to happen. He chose to end his life with a 22 caliber gun to his head. Sad my husband found him, how am I supposed to help him through that? He knew what he was going to do and left no note, no clues, nothing.

Upon going through his things, we found he turned all my moms pictures so she wouldn't see what he was going to do. I find comfort in the good times and support through friends and family, and there are suicide support groups also.

I will never understand his actions but will love him forever. I wish you peace, love, and healing! Please get help for your thoughts that may haunt you. There will never be an answer on why, but there will be an answer on how you deal with this! Stay strong!

Mar 31, 2010
Family Loss
by: Down Under

Michael, my condolences on the loss of your wife and son. I am at a loss as to what to say to you, but I can offer some advice. Keep reading these pages on this website, you may find some healing through them such as I have. You will see that there is so much grief out there every day and this is a place we can all come and voice what we are feeling and hopefully have someone answer back and listen and maybe even offer some of their knowledge on how to get through life without our loved ones there to share it with us. Your wife and son are watching down upon you Michael,don't be afraid to ask for signs to know they are there. Take care and be strong.

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