I just want to know he's ok xx

by Ashton
(Falkland Islands)

I lost my brother on 20th October 2012, he had just turned 20. He was killed in a car accident, he wasn't wearing a seatbelt. It was the worst day of my life. My parents were on holiday, so it was just me and my 17 year old brother here. I was 30 weeks pregnant. My parents got back 5 days after it happened. We held his funeral when I was 32 weeks pregnant. It hurts so much every day, I just wish we knew if he was ok, I'd love to contact a medium, it would help us so much. I just want to know that we'll get through this, I don't want to be unhappy forever, I know that sounds selfish but I just need to know. I had my son on Saturday 15th December at 14:19, the exact time and day my brother died. It was amazing, my son has helped so so much. Sorry this is all a bit rambly, I would love to hear from someone who's had the same experience. I'd like to know what I'm feeling is normal. Thank you x

Comments for I just want to know he's ok xx

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Apr 19, 2013
Miss our siblings
by: Anonymous

Hi, I gave birth to my daughter on feb 24 and on feb 27 my sister had a car accident and died instantly. I'm so sorry to hear about your brother, I know how your feeling as I feel the same as you.

Feb 22, 2013
by: Anonymous

hi there just to say i lost my son to accidental overdose 18th june 2011 on the 18th of june 2012 my daughter gave birth to a little girl who looked exactly like my son when he was born but stange thing was my daughter was not due that day she has another 4 kids all overdue as it was my sons first anniversay i think he was looking over us trying to help us though that day x

Feb 08, 2013
Thank you
by: Atty

Thank you so much for your amazing stories, I felt a million times better when I read them. It helps so much knowing that other people have gone through the same thing. I'm finding it a bit hard at the moment, I can't look at pictures or drive past the cemetery, I haven't been there since the funera. Hopefully one day that'll change, my dad and boyfriend have taken my son there which was nice. Thank you Vicki for telling me that you've found happiness again, it's nice to hear that the pain doesn't last forever, I get so sad that we might be like this forever then I think that it's not possible or healthy for us to be like this forever. I know we have to move forward and I know we will. Thank you so much again for the wonderful comments. Please keep chatting to me, it helps me a lot :-)

Feb 07, 2013
For: Ashton...
by: Vickie

Dear Ashton, I read your post and first of all I am so very sorry for the loss of your brother.
I lost my daughter in 2009 in a car accident. I
have one other daughter who is the oldest and she
still struggles with the loss of her sister. They
argued and fought like sisters but they loved each
other dearly. I believe that your brother is at peace and he will show you signs that he is okay. He hasn't been gone long and your pain is so fresh still. You are probably still finding it hard to wrap your mind around the fact he is gone. Just give yourself time and be patient. I know my daughter is with me like Pat said in her beatiful letter. It may be in a song that comes on a radio, or shooting star etc..., there will be little things that will come to you.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayer's.
Reach out to those around you and keep coming to this site. Keep talking and sharing. Your brother would want you to be happy again and I realize that life will never be the same but I can tell you that I have found some happiness again. I still have hard spells and I will Always miss my beautiful daughter but the way you are feeling now and even in days ahead Doesn't have to define the rest of your life. You will see your brother again and until then -be loving and patient with yourself. God bless you, Vickie

p.s. I wanted to add that I met a couple of wonderful friends here and they have been
lifelines for me:)

Feb 07, 2013
Dec. 15, 2012 is Graduation Day
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry to hear about your brother's sudden death. Dec. 15, 2012 my son would be getting his diploma from college but he too passed away in an accident on Nov 17,2012. My husband were away in another country and it was horrible for my two adult sons to deal with it. We were lucky to get the first flight out. We have joined a support group and they all say the pain never goes away. One mom has been in this group for 10 years. I would be careful with mediums though. I take it by the day and breathing is my only lifeline for now. Am so sorry for what you are going through.

Feb 07, 2013
Dear Ashton,
by: Pat

Your story is amazing! Your baby was born at the exact time as your brother passed. That tells us that the life cycle is exactly the way God meant it to be. There really is no birth or death, only eternal life. Jesus died so that we all might have eternal life. My brother died in May, 2011. It was so sudden that the county coroner requested an autopsy. He was only 60. Of course, your brother was much younger, but it seems that age does not discriminate, when it comes to death. It can happen any day, any time. We often have no idea why. The results of my brother's autopsy were inconclusive. He had a chronic pain disorder, but was doing realitively well, when his wife found him unresponsive. Four days later, he was pronounced dead. His daughter never got to tell him that she was pregnant with her second child. He would have been thrilled. I am just beginning to realize how very real God's message is to us. I think He gave us a life form to serve a purpose on earth. When the physical body leaves, we are still here, but in a spiritual form. I think the body is just like a cloak of clothing. It houses the spirit and the soul. When the body dies, the spirit/soul are still alive, just in a different form. Your baby is a true blessing from Heaven. God needed your brother in a different way, but He blessed you with another living form, your baby. I really am not a religious person. I am just trying to come to terms with the loss of my own (my brother, father, and fiance). As I search for my own answers, these thoughts of the physical body, spirit, and soul are coming out. My thought for you is that your brother is fine. He is with you every moment. His spirit is watching over you and he is so happy for you that you have a new son. When my fiance died, I saw angels come for him. It was as real as this website. Search your heart and you will find peace in your time of grief. I know it is not easy. I am stuck in it myself, but knowing our loved ones are with us makes it a little easier. It is the physical form that we miss so much. No one ever said that life would be easy. Dealing with our losses is probably the hardest thing we will ever endure, as physical beings. But, look in the rainbows, the Spring blossoms on the trees, the warm snuggle of a baby or a puppy, the fragrance of a rose and you will see your loved one is still with you. It has helped me, tremendously, to read your story and write this message. I have no idea of your spiritual beliefs. I hope I have not offended you in any way. I do think that you will find peace in your loss. Read as much as you can find about grief and try a grief support group. These things will help you find some solace in your struggle to heal. I wish you well. Your baby is truly a precious gift. I send you many hugs.

Feb 07, 2013
Ask God . . .
by: Anonymous

He will tell you the answer. He's faithful that way. Understands when and what we need to hear from Him. No human has that same capability. They only feign they do.

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