I keep waiting for you...


KATHERINE (UNITED KINGDOM)
I was in a relationship since 4 years ,a very beautiful and healthy relation which soon was going to be announced into marriage . but fate had some other plans in store . I lost my beloved in a road accident and he died in no time. My heart bleed to see him in the hospital. I am so heart broken and lonely now. I lost my best friend ,my mentor and my future husband . all the memories haunt me and I have bad dreams . the accident happened on 4 september 2013 .

I have been waiting for his calls and his texts. We had so many plans to execute but he left me alone . till today I don’t believe that I lost him , still it occurs to me that my phone will ring and I will hear from him . I just cant concentrate in other things . this loss is making me go insane . we were so close to each other that I considered his opinion even in every smallest thing I did. Now even small decisions taken alone make me feel nervous and dejected . I cry my nights out. The whole big empty bed makes things all worse. The moment we saw each other till the last time I heard from him had been the best days of my life . such was his charm . I cant forget those black passionate eyes which were always filled with care , love and protection for me. I miss you baby in every breath I take. No one can ever be like you .no one can love me more than you .

Comments for I keep waiting for you...

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Dec 26, 2013
Lost without my husband of 24 years
by: Sharon( united Kingdom)

Hello Kathrine

I am so sorry for you loss. I to lost my husband on the 20th November 2013. It is only been 5 weeks and the pain is just so bad I feel as if someone has torn my heart out.

He was knocked down and killed by a lowlife who stole a car then he just ran off. He was a wonderful man and done everything for me we had everything planned for Christmas and then that morning he left for work and never came back I am totally lost without him we have 3 children and they totally miss him he was never out of their lives.Christmas was so strange without him and he loved Christmas I really don't know how I am going to go through life without him but I know I have to be strong for the children they have lost one parent but this lowlife is not going to let them lose another. I wish him the worst life ever after what he has done to me and my family. I am left heart broken and so have my children.

Sharon

Sep 16, 2013
to lawrence
by: katherine

thank you lawrence for understanding my pain, i feel comforting when i read your and other people's story. then i dont feel that i am the only person devastated . it is really comforting to share our grief . thank you for taking time out for me and writing this for me. god bless you

Sep 15, 2013
Your Grief
by: LAWRENCE

Katherine
Your pain and grief is so raw at present that nothing anyone says will make an atom of difference to the heartache and overwhelming sadness you are feeling and the belief you will never recover.
But let me tell you about myself.
It is now over eight months since the only girl I ever loved passed away, we were together for nearly seventy years, from being young teenagers to pensioners and I loved her with all my heart and soul and then she died in front of my eyes in a second. We were like Siamese twins joined at the hip for most of our lives; she was the only girl I ever kissed.
At the funeral I wanted to lie down beside her because we did everything together but had to make do with a double grave so at least we will be together in death and for eternity.
To say I was desolate and heartbroken couldn’t start to describe my feeling and I knew with absolute certainty I would quickly follow her, but the months have passed and I am still here, the tears don’t flow so quickly now, I am still vulnerable and anything can start them off, a song, seeing a couple kissing but the acute pain has passed and I know I have to get on with my life as she would have wished.
I am a musician and I play her favorite songs every evening on the organ or guitar hoping she can hear them and if she can I know there will be a lovely gentle smile on her face, needless to say I can’t sing the words without breaking into tears.
The reason I am telling you all this is to show you no matter how devastated you feel now it will get better, there is a natural time limit on grief and you will know instinctively when that time arrives.
Remember everybody on this web site has been through the horror of what you are going through now, so read all our stories and get some solace from them.
Remember you will never feel as bad as you do now ever again.
You are in all our thoughts.
Lawrence

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.


Sep 15, 2013
to lawrence
by: katherine

its really painful and every one around me is telling me that with time the pain will ease . the memories of the time spent with the person ,his belongings , his little acts of love everything makes it so hard to resist myself from crying . as of now i am totally confused and dont think i can lead my life without him . the memories have bound me with him so rigidly . i am fully heart broken .

Sep 14, 2013
Your Grief
by: Lawrence

Katherine,
Your grief and overwhelming pain must be so hard for you to bear, that everybody reading your tragic story must be crying with you, I know I am.
There are no words to ease your heartache and even if I say the agony will lessen as the weeks pass I don’t expect you to believe me, you have had a raw deal from life and you must be looking around for someone to blame, but unfortunately you have been the victim of fate and nobody escapes it’s clutches.
You will just have to do what we all have done on this site, cry, scream out at the world and wait for the terrible grief to pass, as it will.
I have just read what Doreen has said, she helped me when I lost my beloved wife and didn’t want to live but now eight months later I still cry and miss her incredibly but I am getting on with my life without her as you will one day.
I am an author and have been writing for many years but I still can’t find the words to make your loss any easier except to say you had four beautiful years together and so many people never find the love that you had.
Look after yourself.
Lawrence





Sep 14, 2013
thanks Doreen
by: katherine

thanks Doreen for your valuable suggestion and support . may god give us strength to fight situations in our respective lives.

Sep 14, 2013
I keep waiting for you.....
by: Doreen U.K.

Katherine I am so sorry for your loss of the man you loved and was going to marry one day.
Some people come into our lives and touch it in such a special way that we want them in our life forever. Some times it is so scary to be so happy we can sometimes wonder if this happiness would be taken away from us we wouldn't be able to bear the loss. This is how I thought about the man I loved and lost to cancer 16 months ago. It is early days for your loss. Don't expect to feel anything but sorrow for some time. Take one day at a time and don't try to rush through grief as it is a very slow process of healing. If you can get as many supportive people around you it will help your journey of grief to become a little easier.
Nurture yourself back into life by doing as many good things for yourself that will add meaning and value when bad times come. I found this a good thing to do for myself and I nurtured myself through my grief. I was married for 44yrs. but my husband worked all over the world with his job 6 and sometimes 7 days a week. We saw little of each other and hoped the day of retirement would come and this would be our time to value. But he died 11 months into retirement and was dying with cancer over 3yrs. so did not have quality of time. Life is what it is but it can so cruel with its timing.
Often when we find happiness it is snatched away from us all too quickly. Whilst the bad times linger longer. But good times and bad times do pass. Memories are something that no one can take away from you and you will have forever. The secret of coping with grief is to TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME.

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