I lost both my parents to the drink or did i?

by danielle herring
(charleston,sc)

My mama was a sunflower hippie, fun loving, great cook, like to drink. She got breast cancer at 43, many treatments and bottles of vodka later she was 47, they say that her liver went out before the cancer could kill her. When I got to my mom's house that day, my big brother was messed up off my moms pain meds and my mom's body was in the bed but her soul was gone.

I think he over dosed our mom cuz he didn't want to tend to her any more. I will never know the truth of that day. It's been 6 years now. I still haven't spoken to my brother. Mama left behind me and her only grandchild, my daughter that looks and acts just like her. She's 11 now.

A week ago I lost my daddy. He was all the family we had. they say it was a heart attack, but I found out he was taking pills and drinking heavy his last 3 days of life. my heart wants the truth, did he just go cuz of a heart attack or did that night he take it too far?

My soul has been up and down the last 6 years dealing with her death, now his. time does heal, makes it lil easier, having faith and love in urself and in god. when you put in the ground the ones that created u, brought u into this world, cared for u when u were sick as a child, helped u take ur 1st steps.......then death becomes very real.that one day my daughter will face the same thing I feel now.I will share and try to prepare her.

When my mama died I was young, I went crazy partying to feel numb, I got in fights, cuz of the anger from the loss, I tore my husband apart trying to handle me. we got a divorce after a few yrs from the damage.

This go round with my daddy I've cried, and stayed at home. I don't want to fight or party. I just want peace. so I pray for it. I'm going to keep praying....