I lost everything I ever loved.

by Butch

Sept 30th 2008 my sister died of a sudden and unexpected heart attack at 42 years old.Her birthday was just a week before.She seemed fine.Ill never forget the pain it caused me and my poor mother.My fiance at that time was all I had to turn to.My mother was devastated.About 2 weeks later my Min Pincher dog(that was like my son) went blind.I drove him from Tennessee to Iowa State University for treatment,but he died the day after Christmas in 2008.About a week later I found out that my fiancee had been having an affair with someone for over 2 years.Once she found out I knew she left me alone with no one to turn to,no shoulder to lean on.I watched my mother slowly die in 2009.She no longer had any desire to live.I found her passed away on her bed on dec 14th 2009. Ive lost everything.I find it hard to bounce back to the person I was.Ive spent thanksgivings and Christmas's alone since then because I have no family to go to.My broken heart is pretty much to shattered to ever come together again.Ive been angry at God for the cruel things he has aloud in such a short time to happen to me.If you are going through a bad time and have a shoulder to lean on,please be thankful for that.

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Oct 04, 2012
I lost everything I ever loved.
by: Doreen U.K.

Butch I am sorry for your many losses. All your family members taken so soon leaving you heartbroken and all alone with your grief. I am also sorry for your loss of fiance. I don't know why this should happen. A death occurrs and the people we need to support us vanish leaving us all alone.
I lost my husband of 44yrs. 5 months ago tomorrow. It feels more like 5 years. I was angry with God for a long time and sometimes that anger seems to come back. I felt Let Down. How does anyone move on from such a loss like this I will never know. Some people lose so many people from their life very rapidly and some don't lose anyone. It is hard to imagine such grief from multiple loss of family.
In the early days I did have good support. This seems to have died down now and I feel all ALONE. Everyone is getting on enjoying their own lives that I feel like an intruder. I find no reason to go on living now. I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO LIVE. But I can't get enthusiastic about anything now. MY WORLD STOPPED the day my beloved husband died. HE WAS MY WORLD. Don't give up on God. Being angry with God is part of our grief. GOD is all we have. Find a church, surround yourself with people who will befriend you and help change your world. Find friends to go out with and build on this. Soon your world will change and you will begin to Live again. It won't always be like this for you. This is the early days of grief when everything is upside down.

Oct 03, 2012
My prayers for Butch
by: Linn

Butch, I am sorry for the losses in your life. I know that the holidays are very hard when our loved one have died. I hope that you are able to go to grief counseling. It is not for everyone but many have found hope again by sharing their stories with others and knowing that others care. This site is also a great way to share memories of your love one and to know that other are praying for you. It sounds like your mom just could not handle the grief of losing her daughter and you are left to grieve for both of them as well as your dog. I hope that you find some resources there in your area that can help you work through this and have hope for the future. A live without hope is indeed an empty one. Don't give up and try to find the beauty in each day even if it is in small ways. I believe that God gave us a desire to love and that we are not at peace until we start to love again. So I hope that you find love in your life Butch and that once more your life will have meaning and joy. Let us know how you are doing from time to time, and may God bless you.

Oct 03, 2012
lost everything I ever loved
by: Pat J.Green Bay,WI

Dear Butch,
I am so sorry to hear about all the losses you have endured. You have come to a great site to express how you are feeling. No one should be alone.
I lost my husband of 46 years 15 months ago. I have 5 adult children and 10 grandchildren, yet at times I feel so alone. My husband took a part of me with him.
I joined a grief support group through my church. I needed to be with others who understood my loss. I met 3 widows, we became friends, still are. We do things together and call each other. Seek out a support group. They are out there. You will be with others who understand. Until then and even after , come to this site. You will find you are not alone.
Your loved ones are physically gone, but their spirits live on. I talk to my deceased husband all the. No, he does not answer me, but I do feel his presence. Our loved ones are watching over us. God is with us; we are not alone, though we sure often feel that way.
God Bless you. I hope you can find some support, it is out there.

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