i lost my 16 year old son

by linda childs
(pentiction bc canada)

it was June 17th 2011 and my son and his sister went out to a bush party it happens each and every year for grad.it was his sisters grad year but all his friends were also grading with her so he wanted to be there to enjoy it with them.It started out as a normal night where there was drinking and music and everyone having a great time but there was also a guy that went up already to cause trouble. He went up with a bar and a knife and started to swing the bar at the other kids and pull the knife out. The others told the kid to beat it it was not his grad party he was an adult and shouldnt be there and went on with having a good night.Somewhere into the night the older boy started a fight with my sons school friend and pulled out the knife and stabbed my sons friend so my boy went to pull this kid off him and the guy turned and stabbed my son 4times in the heart. Its a awfull thing for any mother ,father or anyone to go threw and i still after 7months remember dropping them at the party.I each and every night sit up in my bed wishing i can turn back time i have not sleep in months i am falling apart and dont no what to do i am going threw court cause the boy has been charged with 2nd degree murder but i am losing it i stay busy all the time and hold his ashes in my arms each and every night please if anyone knows how to help please please do

Comments for i lost my 16 year old son

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Mar 15, 2013
I lost my 16 year old son
by: Peggy

Linda-my heart goes out to you
I lost my baby in jan of 2013-it is so fresh-just like it was yesterday--he started having seizures a few years ago and he had one that he didnt come out of. jesse was so loving and gentle and kind. It effected our whole reservation and school district. Of course-it effected me the most. I found him on his bedroom floor and he was barely alive.He was put on life support and we had 5 days to mourn him before he was taken off and went to heaven. It is so life changing and i know my life will never be the same. God be with you and all Mothers and parents who lost a precious child.

Feb 18, 2012
I can relate
by: Molly

Hello Linda, I am so sorry to hear of you loss. I too lost my 16 year old son but not to murder, my son Quinn just had heart failure and died. It was so sudden I guess that feeling is the same for you, Quinn was away on what was to be a wonderful trip to basketball camp and I like you was waiting to hear from him and the wonderful adventure he was on (meaning I am sure u were waiting to hear of your sons fun filled evening) just to be left with a shattered and broken heart. Quinn died July 18 2011 today is 7 months and it is not getting any better i do all the things that you do, kissing his picture screaming to God crying everyday and just in pure disbelief that this has happened. Quinn was my only child and the love of my life, I lived my life for him and now I am lost and confused and simply just don't know what to do. I am trying to keep busy and distracted and do everything that is suggested to me but this dark cloud over my heart I know will never lift and I will never be happy again. Family and friends come around every now and then and I talk to people but unless you have lost a child you just can't understand how this pain feels it is beyond anything in this world. Several years ago I lost my father and I loved him dearly but I was able to cope with it I just don't know how I can cope with this pain. For me I need to talk to others and I guess sites like this help a bit but I wish I knew what to tell you I just don't know how we can move on from this pain. Everyone said time heals I guess that is all we can do is give it time and hope this pain will dull. Please email me if you want to talk more meme_68@hotmail.com I wish you days of calm and peace. Oh yeah I have joined a bereavement group that will be starting soon not sure how it will go but I am trying everything. Be well.

Feb 10, 2012
i know how you feel.xx
by: karen

Ilost my beautiful so Josh August 2011 aged 14 it doesnt get any better i am so tired and so angry.I miss my son so much i cry all the time .Ikiss his photo every morning and every night Ito hold my boys ashes just a mum thing.I am just taking one day at a time but i miss him and love him so much i wish with all my heart i could hold and kiss him one more time.Thers not much we as mothers can do we cant bring them back i know how bad it is for you my family was there at the begining but all gone now so we are alone again.This is my e-mail tascolder007@yahoo.com.au if you wish to talk more we have this in common.Love to you Karenxx.

Feb 10, 2012
You're not alone
by: Aline

So sorry about your son. I believe that time will heal you and relieve the overwhelming sadness. For me I rely on God to take me through the dying process of my mom, who is in final stages of dementia. I still cry and am angry, but knowing the all powerful God is my strength and solace really helps. How can you grow through this terrible tragedy and be the best you possible?

Forgiving anyone that you have a beef with including the murderer and helping others is also necessary to truly moving on and finding serenity.

I'm learning to not fight grief and let God guide me through this journey.

I wish you peace in your heart and joy in your life.

Feb 10, 2012
I am so sorry
by: Carol,Seans Mom

Linda, I am so sorry. That is devastating. I know what you mean about not sleeping. I lost my son on November15,2011. Sleep is definitely not easy any more. How awful your circumstances. Stay strong for you daughter. May you get justice and find some peace.

Feb 10, 2012
16 year old son
by: Anonymous

first I'm so sorry about your loss, I can not even imagine the pain, anger and hurt you go through daily. The closest thing I have is living with the death of my almost 3 year old grandson on Jan 9, 2012. My pain is different because I'm mourning for my grandson and my son (to keep him strong)
Your son sounds like he was a very caring person to try and protect his friend, and then to go through the court thing and relive it must be a nightmare.
I have always believed in god and heaven but, have questioned it here lately, which I'm told that is normal.
I tell my son to take all the love Landon had for him and all the love my son had for Landon and do something positive with it, Landon would not want him sad and crying all the time. I'm sure your son loved you as you loved him and he would not want you sad and crying either.
There are no words I can give but, if you would like to write and talk or cry or scream I would be willing to listen and not judge.
I pray you find some peace (as I'm still looking for mine) and remember you still have a daughter that needs her mom.

Feb 10, 2012
to Linda
by: Anonymous

Linda I feel your pain I have not lost a child but I lost my baby brother unexpectedly and then this year my mom due to a tragedy. I suggest counseling and also I am not sure what your religious beliefs are but it is also good to get spiritual counseling. Don't give up especially because you have other children that need you right now. I know the about the sleepless nights because i just lost my mom, i know about obsessive thoughts about what happened that will not leave your mind. But God said he would never leave nor forsake us if we only put our trust in him.

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