I lost my 23yr old son to a heroin overdose

by Jen McDonough
(Minneapolis, Mn)

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I buried my son a few weeks ago....he died on October 25, 2011. That fated day came to quick and certainly a shock - my son had just completed boot camp for the marines and had some medical challenges with his legs. He came home for two weeks then went to Florida for two months...on Oct 18 he came back home and a week later was dead from a heroin overdose. This child had his whole life before him....I loved him so much. I am not ashamed of how he died he struggled secretly with addiction and prided himself with the thought that he wasn't an addict. Delusion is a symptom of addiction....addiction is progressive (meaning it gets worse and worse over time and with consumption) and the end result for every addict is death, institutions, or jail. Sadly my son was not unique to these bleak outcomes I only wish he had the opportunity to participate in a program of recovery as opposed to loosing his life so soon. I did not know anything other than the fact that he drank....along with the shock of his passing was the realization of his experimental drug use which ultimately killed him. He was not afforded the opportunity to wrestle this beast called addiction it took him out instantly. This child had no idea that the hit of heroin he was about to take that night was going to bring him to his grave. I am so heart broken and numb. This boy told me "mom no man will ever love you more on this earth than I do". The day he died a part of me died too...he took me with him. My dear son I birthed you, nurtured you, raised you, loved you more than life itself and the dark world of addiction took you away from me.....but God himself holds you in the palm of His hand - I dedicated you back to the Lord who entrusted you to me on this earth and the short time I had with you I am so grateful for and will cherished every moment/memory in my heart....for today words cannot express my loss or pain. Somehow I have to figure out how to live the rest of my life here on this earth without you son. This pain (that comes and goes thank God) is worse than a dagger to my heart or an arm being cut off I'd rather die myself than live without you here....I pray it gets better for me for the sake of my other children.