I Lost My 47 year old son Danny September 27, 2012.

by Betty
(Indiana)

I can't think about anything but the days he was in the hospital it was from August 3, 2012 until September 27, 2012 the day Danny died and me also. I got that call he had a heart attack at first they said it was not bad and the second call I was told it was real bad and what was the beginning of the end. When we got to the hospital we were told he had a massive heart attack all his arteries were blocked ,the left side of his heart was so damaged it was dead the doctors said he would never be able to have a by pass I was in shock but I wanted Danny to see we were ok he worried about me and my husband all the time he lived at home with us he never got married but had a great girlfriend. In less then an hour his two brothers and their wives and two sisters and grandchildren were all there: This was the start of ups and downs more downs and he coded blue seven times had pace maker ,things I can't name them all he was on a ventilator so his heart could rest and his kidneys had stopped working and was put on dialyzes I thought God help him it was the worst days of our lives I prayed for him not to let him suffer just make him better everything was not helping him at this hospital so he had to have a stronger pace maker and a pump to get blood to his heart and then was life lined to large hospital that did anything transplants and a LVAD a temporary heart pump was on that until he was strong enough to have a permanent LVAD it was open heart surgery and it came with risks but we prayed and hoped with this I could have my son. The surgeon said all went well but there was so much scar tissue to cut through from another heart attack I never knew until now I never knew about his heart problems if I had maybe we could have him right now. This was one of the risks infection they had left his chest open so if they needed for bleeding infection as I write this my heart aches for what he went through and it is hard to breathe I miss him so much. There was always seven or more people with him every day for almost two months I hope no one has to lose a child even if it is a 47 year old sweet boy. Danny was buried October 2, 2012 he was loved by many almost 300 family and friends were at his funeral and he a line of cars that was seen for a mile I know Danny was looking down at them and he knows how much he was loved and will be missed I God will give me strength to go on because I know the pain and agony it is to lose our children it is the closet thing dearest and it feels like part of my heart is gone I don't know if I will ever feel normal again but I have my other children and grandchildren that need me and I need them and this was almost as bad for them. I love you Danny we all will be together again in heaven. Mom

Comments for I Lost My 47 year old son Danny September 27, 2012.

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Jan 11, 2013
Aunt Betty we love you!
by: Shannon

April and I have been reading these posts and crying our eyes out. Like Mom, I wish there was an easy way to take away your pain. I cannot imagine how you must feel.
I know one thing, Danny was so worried about leaving you and didn't want you to suffer. He is with you everyday and lives within your heart and your smile. Danny wants you to be happy, Betty. You have to believe in your heart that Danny wants you to be happy and live your life to the fullest! You have other children and grandchildren that need you. You cannot give up on life. I pray everyday for God to heal our hearts. You are a wonderful and beautiful Mom, sister, aunt, grandma and friend. We all need you in our lives. I cannot tell you how happy I am to have found my family again. I thank Danny for that. He is smiling down on us, we can't let him down by not staying close and make more
memories. He is always with us , heart and soul. We love you and cannot wait to spend time with you again!

Your niece,
Shannon

Jan 11, 2013
Danny
by: Carrie Gruver

Betty-I loved reading this it broke my heart bringing back all the great memories of Danny and your whole family which Im so lucky to have met. All of you are wonderful & should be proud of each other--I know Danny loved each & every one of you no matter what when on day to day. He was always there to look out for you & Dave & especially Angel & the kids. I will never forget that when I was first going through my divorce before I had moved into my own place I called Danny & he & I met to have dinner & a drink & I just unloaded on him about all my ups & downs with the divorce. Again he was there to help me as a friend. He will forever be in our hearts. It really upset me when I found out he was in the hospital & coming to see him & your family at the hospital helped a little bit but when I got the news that he had passed I lost it. I think almost daily about him & how you are holding up. Please let me know when I can come visit you. Love, Hugs & Kisses to all of you.

Oct 17, 2012
I feel your grief
by: Betty

I don't know the title but the man said he knows how hard it was to be at the hospital and watch a loved one die.
If the man who sent the comment would send his story his name Ralph thanks for caring . Betty

Oct 15, 2012
I know how you feel
by: malgosia

Dear Betty, I am so sort for you loosing your son, I know the pain and I know how you hurting , for me is 3 and a half months today since I lost my son, he was 30 years old, my only baby. When they are born, you want to protect them all life, when they are grown up, you are not able to do that, but you don't love them any less then the first time you hold them in your arms. Betty, our sons will always live in our hearts, but the pain will never go away. I am crying every day, my heart hurts so much, I think will break, but 3 and 1/2 months, I am still alive, I don't know why. My son did not have time to have a family, children... the grief is my only companion, Betty, you are not alone, there is lots of us, mothers,and we have to pray for each other and keep going until the time will come, when we see our babes again.

Oct 13, 2012
I Lost my 47year old son Danny September 27, 2012
by: Doreen U.K.

Betty I am sorry for your loss of your 47yr. old son Danny from a heart attack. I have a 43yrs. old son and I know I would hate to lose him. I just lost my husband of 44yrs. marriage to cancer 5 months ago and it is the worst PAIN ever to go through to lose a loved one.
I lost my nephew of 30yrs. 5yrs. ago and he was like a Son.
The grief starts when you go to the hospital get the diagnosis and have to make all the visits all the time watching your loved one slowly die. I had to watch my husband die slowly over 3yrs. The grief journey of all the hospital visits, sitting with our loved ones. Wanting to hold TIME so that it could last FOREVER. FEARING that moment when it all goes wrong and our loved one DIES. Loses the battle to LIVE. Then there is the funeral arrangements. and You just get caught up in doing what you need to do. Afraid to STOP. Because that is when the grief and loss hits us. OUR PAIN IS FOREVER. You carry that child in you for 9 months and it feels as if the umbilical cord is never cut. That child is joined to you by a strong BOND that no parent can ever LOSE not even at DEATH. WE will worry about our children from the cradle to the grave. And ONGOING even in DEATH. They will be REMEMBERED FOREVER.
I hope that Life gets easier for all of us in the grief days ahead. I hope that you will be well supported by family and friends.

Oct 12, 2012
My Sister....I love you
by: Terry

Betty,
I wish there was a magic pill to help your pain.I can't even imgaine how bad the pain is.I know how bad it is for me because I loved him and all your children so much and he was like my little brother.
I wake up and it is the first thing I think about , it is so hard to believe after all he went thru,that God decieded to take him to Heaven.Maybe God thought he would be more help up there with him.That is what I keep telling myself.
You will see him again ...you have been the Best Mom ever and the best sister anyone could ask for.
It hurt when Carol passed away but nothing like this.I couldn't take having to live here on Earth with out YOU! YOU! Please take care of yourself for Danny's sake,I think he gave it all he had to live because he seen the smile back on your face and you were happy and enjoying being with us all again.He worried about you so much and he knew what it would do to you if he didn't make it and that is why he tried and fought so hard to hang on.He fought a battle to live for you.
I love you so very much and PLEASE if there is anything I can do , please call me.
I want you to come here and say all night or at least a few hours , we can look at pictures and fix some good food and just be together.That
would mean alot to me ...PLease think about it!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.... Terry

Oct 12, 2012
Sorry
by: Ralph

Dear Betty,

I'm so sorry for your loss. Reading your post brings back so many of my own memories in the hospital. I can feel your pain. I hope you have family and friends nearby.

I wish you and your family peace.

Ralph

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