I lost my Angel and Soulmate

by Ken
(Illinois)


I lost my wife of almost 17 years when she died on December 13, 2011. She was hit by a car while walking to the bus stop. I never saw her again after she left that morning & we kissed each other goodbye & said we loved each other. She was hit in the head & nobody ever wanted me to see her so I did not. I have her with me as she was cremated. I kiss her goodnight every day. I miss her so much I cant stand it. I go to work every day for my 4 hours and put on the show of being ok for my 15 year old daughter & 21 year old son, but inside I am dying. All I want to do is be with her. I do not know how long I can go on like this. I am so depressed sometimes & I am even on anti depressants. She was a bigger girl but so beautiful. We had our ups and downs like everyone, but our love was like a fairy tale. I still cant believe that she is gone.

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May 19, 2012
Peace Will Come
by: judith in California

Ken, how absolutely devastating! I know you probably don't want to hear it but your young adult children need to see you grieve. They need to know how much you miss their Mother the love of all of your lives. They might be glad to see it and they may join in and grieve with you. Don't hold back on the tears. You must grieve as you feel it. The better chance you will heal if you do. Those of us who have lost our loves on this site know it's one breath, one day at a time. I am at 20 months after my husband passed and I grieved so hard and didn't let anyone tell me when I should or shouldn't ,even in public. It's your grief and you must in order to heal to the peaceful side of it.

I hope you remember God is there to talk to anytime also.

God bless you on this awful roller coaster ride of emotions.

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