I lost my best friend MY MOM

by sad
(ny)

I feel sick everyday i feel like its my fault my mom died I can not deal with life right now i found my mother dead in her room may 28 2012 she lived in a shelter type apt while i lived with my dad and 2 year old son I got worried about her on day 3 of her not answering her phone my son and I went to go check up on her and found her dead she died alone I was busy that whole month with school and finals i miss my mom i think its my fault i think she was trying to call me but I have my phone off she would always meet me after school call me 3 times a day i was in charge of her money i fell bad the way i treated her she died young 47 years old i still do not know how she died i hate myself I can not talk to my family at all we are not a real family at all

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I lost my best friend MY MOM

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Jul 07, 2012
 I lost my best friend MY MOM
by: Doreen England

Dear Sad,
I am sorry for the loss of your precious mother. STOP HATING YOURSELF. You are in shock and GRIEF and Grief makes us think wrongly and guilty. From your post you say that You talked to your mother regularly you say 3 times a day. She met you after school. You had interaction with her. You are feeling sick because of anxiety. This will go when the guilt goes. Don't beat yourself up. It is at times of death and grief that triggers other emotions and unresolved conflicts to the surface and throws us in turmoil. Even fractures in the family will show up at this time. You may even get surprises that the people you thought you could rely on actually turn against you and the ones you don't think would be a support will surprise you. This is very hard to experience at this time of grief. You are trying to cope with so many things at the moment. Your relationship with your mother. You having your phone off. You being busy for a whole month with exams and study. Your conflict in the family that leaves you fractured. Your mother dying all alone. You having to look after your 2 year old daughter. This is called LIFE. LIFE HAPPENS. Not always the way we want it to How will I cope with it all. ONE DAY AT A TIME. Prioritise. What is your priority. YOU AND YOUR BABY DAUGHTER. Secondly you have to finish your studies. FOCUS is the key. You will no doubt have to grieve and let go of all these issues you have raised. All of us have to deal with this type of grief because none of us come from perfect families. It only takes a death and grief to show this up. Think now of some of your strengths. Some of the good things you did in your life and for your mother. Build on this. Let go of the rest. Live your life well and you will have few regrets. We all have regrets. It is part of life. FORGIVING ourselves for all our shortcomings and mistakes is the hardest. We live in a fallen world and so we will struggle with these issues as a human race till the day we die. Be happy. I wish you every success in life.
Jul 07, 2012
 Dont blame yourself
by: Anonymous

I didnt call my mom for 4 days, luckily the neighbor checked on her and found her after 1 day or so (she only 69) she died from side effects from Ambien. I do feel bad also but you cant blame yourself for what you didnt know.
Jul 07, 2012
 PLEASE DONT BE HARD ON YOUR SELF
by: Anonymous

I lost my mom 72 hours ago and she was 87..... I love her dearly and took care of her and was a good daughter. my phone rang 4 different times and I didn't reconize the caller and didn't answer it was the hospital calling to tell me my mom had a massive heart attack. I missed the call because I choose not to answer.... I could have made it to the hospital to hold her hand.... I made it to the hospital but she missed me and went for surgery and passsed away on the table. I didnt get to say goodbye..... I loved her so so much. Dont be too hard on yourself... I know its hard becauseI'm feeling so much pain and regret that I can't even breath.... I love her so much and will miss her dearly....

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