I lost my best friend

by Linda
(Wyoming)

He was well the morning of 11/11/11. At 11pm that night he was taken by ambulance to the hospital and he died monday afternoon at 3:35 pm. He never woke up out of his "deep sleep". I never had a chance to say good by to him. He was and will always be my best friend. We were married for 14 1/2 years. We were together for 19 1/2 years. These were the best years of my life. His illness happened so fast. He held on for two days, He never opened his eyes. I didn't get the chance to say goodby. He was every thing to me. Half of me died with him. I'm thankful for this web site. At least I know I'm not crazy and have all the normal habits of grieving. All are dreams and plans for the near and not so near future are gone. There is no life without him. I go through the motions and try to count my blessings every day. Life has no taste, no color, no joy. I realized my marriage my friendship with Ted was the cake and every thing else was the frosting on the cake. Well the cake is gone and nothing else matters. The simple things in life that gave me pleasure are gone. Ted was my best friend, my lover, my teacher, my rock, my every thing. It's amazing how "life" goes on. It just sucks.

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Jan 16, 2012
lost my son
by: vicky

HI, I know how you feel, we have just lost our son Brendon, he died on the 4th of december, he was riding his motor bike home when a man pulled out and hit him head on, since he has died i has just sat at home asking why us, he was a lovely person with a huge heart that would help anyone.I feel like life is never going to be fun again, everything seems dark now, we have four other children and everyone says think of what you still have, as if Brendon didn't matter, I just want this huge pain in my heart to go away. I go for walks and I just walk and walk and I talk to Brendon, people say it gets better I dont know when but I hope its soon, thinking of you in your pain and hope yours gets better soon as well

Jan 16, 2012
Lost my best friend
by: Pat J.

Dear Linda,
I lost my best friend, who also happened to be my husband and my lover. He had a massive heart attack, sitting on the side of our bed, asked me for something to drink, took two sips, put his head down and he was gone. I didn't realize it at the time, but realize now 6 months later, that is how it went. I never got to tell him goodbye, but in my heart I will never tell him goodbye. We were married 46 years on the 26th of June and he passed away on the 27th of June at 12:10 a.m. I was 15 went I started to date him, married at 18, and now 50 years later, I have to learn to live for just me; before it was always the two of us. We do have 5 adult children and 8 grandchildren, yet, I too feel like part of me died with him.
Does it get easier, do we get over it? In my heart there will always be that yearning for him. I am going on with my life, but it is a new life for me. I tell my adult children; I look like their mom and I act like their mom, but inside I am forever changed.
This grief of ours is a real roller coaster and for me it is the worst thing that has happened to me in this life. Both of my parents are gone. Their deaths were hard, but my husbands death was a nightmare and at times I still want to wake up and see him, feel is touch and hear his voice.
I am still taking it one day at a time, faking it until I can make it. I hope to one day be able to really feel in my heart that I am making it. I know I will, but time, that is the key, time. We all grieve differently and own your grief, it is yours and don't ever let anyone tell you to get over it-WE NEVER REALLY GET OVER IT!
I come to this site everyday. It has helped me. I also joined a grief support group and that helped me bond with three other widows. We get it, as we say. We are all strong woman; stronger than we realize. God and your husband is always with you.

Jan 16, 2012
I'm sorry
by: Stephanie

I lost my best girlfriend a few weeks ago, and I didn't get to say goodbye either. I understand how terrible that feels. Please know you are not alone in your grief. I'm not sure where this path is going to lead, this journey of grief, but rest assured, my heart is reaching out to yours. Take care as best you can.

Jan 16, 2012
Hang In There
by: TrishJ

Linda~
I was so touched by your post and truly so sorry for your loss. Many of us on this site know exactly what you are going through. I lost my beloved husband 13 months ago. I'm not the same person I was before he died. I never will be. A part of me died with him.
Grief is a strange thing. Everyone grieves in a different way. I chose to hang on to the past for one year ~ wondering every day, "WHY ME?" Why my husband? None of my friends have lost their husbands. It's not fair. I'm too young to be a widow (I truly loathe that word).
No.....life isn't fair sometimes. I still don't understand why God chose to take my husband and leave me with no direction in life. I still feel like I'm just drifting. I can tell you though that things have gotten better. I can now recall the happy times with a smile on my face and not break into tears at a moments notice. It won't happen overnight. You have to be very patient with yourself.
You probably feel like your heart has been ripped from your chest. It really is the worst thing I've ever experienced in my life - I was totally unprepared for the roller coaster of emotions.
Life can be good again if we let it be. Be good to yourself and take things one day at a time. Don't think about tomorrow. Just get through today for now. I'm really having more good days than bad but there is still work to do.
Come to this site as often as you need to. We're here, we care and we all understand.
God bless.

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