I Lost my brother and I need advise with his 16 yr old and 9 yr old sons

by Crystal
(TN)


My brother was the most amazing dad I could never express to you how much his boys were his life...he Passed away suddely at work right before time to come home His 9yr old says no my daddy is coming home he aways coming home..and the oldest well had to go to the dr, today because his b/p was high and not feeling well he refuses to talk to anyone and I want to help him how can I help him open up and just let it out!

Comments for I Lost my brother and I need advise with his 16 yr old and 9 yr old sons

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Jun 16, 2012
Your brother and his boys
by: Anonymous

Hello Crystal,
My sister lost her husband 4 months ago leaving behind 13 yr old boy 16 yr old girl and a 18 yr old girl. the 13 yr old boy shut right down did not know what to do so what i did was took some photo albums over and when he was sitting near by i would say sis remember when joe did that or remember when joe jr was born i bet you dont remember the first words joe sr said then i went on to tell her i write joe sr letters all the time and leave them at his grave after doing this for a month . joe jr started asking me questions about his dad and i told him there are so many things you dont about your dad i even went as far as to do his dads family tree.I managed to find his dads best friend from high school it was the day he came over that jr was listening to what tom was saying about his dad that jr came around the corner and the first thing tom said was you have to be joe jr you look just like your dad then jr asked him about the story he was telling he said did my dad really do that tom said yep and here the picture to prove it they spent hours talking. now jr is telling me stories about his dad. so there are things kids will pick up on but dont push

Dec 30, 2011
Thinking of you
by: Carol, Seans Mom

Crystal. How awful for these boys. I have a 22 and16 year old daughter. I just lost my 24 year old son and they their brother. Not quite the same but I can say the grief has been over powering. The boys may need grief counseling but I believe in my heart people need their time also. I am so sorry for them. My thoughts are with you and them. I also lost my dad 5 years ago and now a son. Life can be cruel and we are all left to just pick up the pieces. Give them guidance, they may push it away now but it will mean a lot later. You are all in my thoughts. So much sadness out there.

Dec 30, 2011
A thought on what to do
by: Judith in California

Crystal, what I would do if it were me is to gather them together and get your Pastor (if you go to church) and talk to them and tell them it's important to grieve their loss and to continue to grieve until they have let it all out. Ask the Pastor to help them understand about death.

They are going to be in pain for a long time but maybe by understanding that God needed him to come home , it might lessen that pain.

I wish you and the boys peace.

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