I lost my brother in August 29,2012

by Jocelyn Permal
(Suva, Fiji Islands)

On August29,2012 my oldest brother took his own life.His name was Edwin.He was 35 yrs old.He committed suicide.At that moment it was only him and the wife together. my parents n his son (3 yrs old ) were out of the city for 3 days to attend another funeral.
we were really shocked when his wife called us and told us that he was gone...
he didint even left a message n didnt even bothered to say goodbye to us.
till now we dont have a clue on what was bothering him all this time which made him commit suicide.
But as his 3months ritual was coming near my 17yrs cousin got possessed all of a sudden.n spoke exactly like my brother.he bidded us goodbye and told us not to worry and told us that whatever he did was a stupid thing n he regrets on wat he has done. but even at that time he didnt even told us the reason on y he did this. he gave us this task to find out y he did it.
but he hinted us that he didnt wanted his wife bak in this house.
it was a very emotional moment .
This month end he will be completing his 1 year.
I wish that he comes like this from somewhere n tells us on y he committed suicide .

Jocelyn Permal
Fiji Islands

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Aug 15, 2013
by: Anonymous

thanks Doreen

Aug 09, 2013
I lost my brother in August 29, 2012
by: Doreen U.K.

Jocylyn I am sorry for your loss of your eldest brother to suicide.
Most men are very private with their thoughts and also their life and don't handle matters the same way women do. We are more inclined to talk to someone and also to confide in girlfriends. Since your brother did not want his wife back into their house then it is more likely he had marriage problems and didn't want to discuss this with anyone else. It is so easy to get too many different opinions in to what is going on in someone's else's life and this would make your brother feel exposed.
Your brother didn't say goodbye because when someone is in an upset state of mind to end their life they are not thinking rationally and saying goodbye's to everyone would seem bizarre. It wouldn't seem appropriate to someone so distraught in mind they couldn't bear the pain they were in and so he found suicide as the only way out for him. Take the focus off yourself and try and put yourself in your brother's shoes and think what he must have been going through. Your brother's wife may have the clue to what was going on and if she is willing to give you answers this may help you all come to terms with his death. Don't torture yourself with "if only?" this won't help you now. Your brother is at peace now and all of you as a family have to try to work together with your grief to cope and find a way to look after your brother's child and so make this child the focus of caring and nurturing.

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