I lost my brother, my best friend.

by Sasha Kanshaw
(Haledon NJ USA)

May 19, 2012. I received a phone call from my cousin Nancy. She was screaming over and over that my brother was dead. The earth fell from underneath me. I didn't believe her, so I started calling him over and over and over- until my phone was physically removed from me.
The next several weeks were a blur. I was mad at the world. Looking back now, I started to isolate myself away from my family and friends- my life.
Al and I were the best of friends. He's a year older than me and he nicknamed me 'Fancy'. He would always tell me how proud he is of me. Every single call anyways ended with 'I love you'. I take Magnum his GSD that I've adopted, with me so I can visit with my brother, and Magnum to see his daddy.
I haven't dreamt of him since his passing. I don't feel him around me. My cousin Nancy see him often in her dreams and they talk. I don't know why he won't come to me. I just want to hear his voice. I want him to tell me how to re- engage back into my life. I want him to come to my dreams so I know he's okay and he's happy.
I don't understand death. - it's not fair to take from me the only person who I relied on when it came to any decisions with my personal life, career, my new haircut.
I just wish I knew.

Comments for I lost my brother, my best friend.

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Oct 14, 2014
The relationship lives...
by: Anonymous

Death is the single best invention of life.

Whereas, I'm deeply saddened upon reading about your loss, I'd like to offer words of encouragement as I lost my father twelve years ago, and it feels like it happened just yesterday.

A Buddhist monk in Thailand told me:
"Your father's physical body might be dead, however, your relationship with him lives. He is always going to be your father in this lifetime."

And so, I'd like to tell you, your relationship with your brother lives on while his physical being ceases to exist.

He seems like an awesome guy. I'd like to know more about him.

Hope this helps...

ed note: This blog has been transitioned to a great new Forum with private messaging. Please check it out by hitting the "The Grief Club" button on the left. You can even resubmit your post there for fresh advice. Thanks so much!

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