I lost my brother to liver cancer and 10 days after my dad passed away.
by Carol Cook
(Red Deer Alberta, Canada)
I was very close to my brother and when he called me a few months back to go for lunch I thought he was trying to tell me something? He did not have a drink at lunch so I asked him if it was something medical and he said no that he just wasn't feeling good from a cold. I was concerned but as the days passed I noticed he was looking worse...as he was my older brother I didn't pressure him about it but my instincts were telling me it was something worse. He said he was fine. He went on a vacation with his wife and they were back less than a week. I got a call that he was in the hospital and the test showed he had primary liver cancer and approx. less than 2 weeks to live. My heart was shattered and I spent most of my time visiting him as best I could his wife tried to cut down our visiting cause he had a lot of visitors. I went once during the day and spent most nights staying with him so he wouldn't be alone. He has 2 sons and a daughter that has just recently found him over the last 20 years so his sons started to stay with him at night, until he started getting worse then I stayed with him and one of my sisters also stayed with me. Our dad passed away 10 days after our brother so prior to dad passing myself and one of my sisters stayed with him for many days and nights. My sister and I did the funeral home today, dad had already prepaid for his and our moms cremation but we still had to choose a box and Urn for him and also identify the body today. I am very over whelmed and find that I am numb and feel I haven't had time to grieve for my brother as if get and now also for my dad. I feel very sad and sorry for my mom and call her everyday and will be going to see her in a few days, one if my sisters live and work at the hospital where they also have a long term nursing home attached to the hospital where my mom now lives alone. I feel very heartbroken, sad, numb and lost at all different times, I cry at unexpected times and miss my brother so very much and not sure if I am dealing with all of this very good...our brothers wife didn't even mention any of our family in the obituary and that seems to hurt a lot my brother loved his family and friends so much but not a word about us and that hurts me a lot.. Am I being selfish about that?? She has done and said things that have been hurtful and seems to diss us at any chance she gets. I understand she and their to sons are having their own grief. I just hope it gets better and at times I feel she has cut the strings with our family all together now?? So we will wait and give her her space for now. I personally don't know what to do with myself anymore and cry at such odd and different times through out the day, not sleeping good even though the doctor has given me sleeping pills to help keep my anxiety a little on the calmer side. I have been so tired lately especially since my dad passed. I all I can say is it hurts real bad and my heart is breaking from losing them so close together. Any advice or words that might help me deal with this situation right now would be greatly appreciated ?? Thank you for letting me write this to people who have lost family so close together as we have . Thanks Carol❤️