I lost my Dad 30 years ago when I was 8 and struggling a bit

by Stuart

I lost my Dad on 12th November 1982 when I was 8. He died of a brain haemorrhage aged 47.

It's coming up to 30 years now and I'm struggling a little at the moment. I don't tend to get that upset anymore. However, on each birthday/anniversary I do. Coming up to 30 years seems to be even worse for some reason. I'm approaching 40 myself in a couple of months. I have 2 young children and start to doubt my ability as a father myself. I know that's silly as both are happy.

I think I struggle a bit as my family don't tend to speak about memories of my Dad that much at all and I'm the sort of person who likes to speak about him. Given I was 8 when he passed away, I don't have that many memories, apart from special occasions (holidays, Christmas, going to football etc).

My brother and sister are both 9-10 years older than me and they along with my Mum were a great support.

He was a great Dad though and I miss him so much.

Comments for I lost my Dad 30 years ago when I was 8 and struggling a bit

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Nov 12, 2012
40 Years on
by: hazel

)My father died when I was 17, in 1971.He was 53yrs old. Apart from being on active service as an Royal Engineer, he achieved so much in his short lifetime. He was awarded an MBE for services to Trinity House.
I'm 60 now.
I don't dwell on it especially, but occasionally I have still have moments when I grieve on the stuff I didn't have the opportunity to with him.
Me meeting my husband, the joy of my 4 children, and now my grandchildren. Also my achievements. He KNEW I was destined for Uni, but it never happened sadly....because of his illness and death at the time. So I chose a different course..nursing..later it was teaching. Then it was bringing up a family and home nurturing/building etc etc. You know..living fast and sometimes furiously...
And now I'm just about to finish a BA degree. I've done it because I knew it should have happened years ago. I'll be proud when I eventually get my 'Cap and Gown' and I'll dedicate to my dad, Charles Albert Woollard, MBE.
You never forget xxx

Nov 06, 2012
I lost my Dad 30 years ago when I was 8 and struggling a bit
by: Doreen U.K

Stuart I feel you may be struggling with the loss of your Dad more so because of the age you were when he passed away. You were only 8 yrs. old and many children are forgotton whilst the adults deal with their grief. You may have feelings that I would say are repressed (lying underground) in your sub concious mind and when an event occurrs a wave of panic sets in and you can't imagine what is going on. Certain life experiences act as triggers that bring feelings to the surface which you may be having now with your young children. Especially if your children are at the age you were when you lost your father.
You could benefit greatly from seeing a counsellor who will tease out what is repressed. Bringing it to the surface it won't ever bother you again. Counselling will actually enhance your life.
Many of the problems that set themselves up for dysfunction in families start with a death in the family and usually children who don't, or arent' allowed to deal with their feelings grow up into adults that pass on behaviours to their children that affect generations. All because a DEATH and LOSS, and bereavement in children was not dealt with at the time.
It happened in my own family and I see it so often in others. Which is why I have a passion for children, being allowed to grieve. Some adult actually caring for the needs of bereaved children. Stuart you may like to start with CRUSE bereavement. Even if there is a waiting list you should try. It can't hurt, but can only help.

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