I lost my dad at 13

by Jeff
(United States )

Hi everyone, I lost my father 5 years ago when I was 13 and he was 52. He died of a rare type of cancer called multiple myeloma. I never new my dad was sick all my life, he was diagnose when I was 2 and was given at most several years to live but he fought it to ensure that our family would be secure. I still can't get over his loss and everything reminds me of him. Also Its hard for me to find meaning in life after seeing him pass. I'm also worried for my mom who has become reclusive and I don't know what she is going to do after I go to college and leave her alone. I still feel quite fortunate to have such an amazing dad who was my absolute hero and the person I want to be.

Comments for I lost my dad at 13

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Jul 28, 2012
thank you
by: Jeff

Thanks for responding to my comment, your wisdom really makes me feel better. Im sorry for your loss also, i know how hard it was on my mom but I'm happy to see that you seem to have a positive outlook. I truly hope that you find happiness. Your comments about me being successful for my dad are completely true, and i realize that to honor my dads memory i need to be successful and find happiness. Thanks again for your comment! I really appreciate your kindness.

Jul 09, 2012
I lost my dad at 13
by: Doreen U.K.

Hi Jeff I am sorry for the loss of your father at 13yrs. Such a tragedy at such a young age. You are now 18yrs. You sound so very Mature for your age. It is no wonder that you find it hard to find meaning in life. You are so young to have to face this grief battle. You are now concerned about your Mom having become a recluse.
Try and see if you can get some bereavement counselling for you so that you will be able to resolve your difficulties with grief and life having losts its meaning. Otherwise this may affect you studying if you are planning on going to College and perhaps later to University. Try and get your Mom also to have some grief counselling to help her. Some people get stuck in grief that ends up into depression. You cannot let this loss hold you back in life. Your Dad and your Mom will want you to progress in life. Especially as being a Man. Men work all their life whereas Women leave to have babies etc. It is important for a man to have this in mind. To Succeed. You will Succeed. You sound very articulate and Focused and you will emulate your father. As the great man he was to you. Don't worry too much about your Mom becoming a Recluse. This is how she is coping with her grief. I am doing the same. Only going out when I need to or want to. I am focusing on looking after the home. cooking. so my daughter has a meal when she gets back from work. I am also taking time out to grieve. If we become too busy and don't take time out to grieve our loss we are just postponing this for later when it will get worse. Grief has to be expressed for healing to take place. Just keep an eye on your Mom and look for any warning signs of depression. But allow her the space she needs. She may not become a recluse for long. This may just be her way of coping with the loss of her husband. I lost my husband to cancer. I was his caregiver for over 3yrs. We were married 44yrs. I have become a recluse. I don't want to be. But I need to be one just now. If I become housebound then I will see a grief counsellor. I will know when to do this. I hope the days ahead will improve for you and that you all as a family will see better days and happiness and life will improve for you all. Best wishes.

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