I lost my daddy when I was 9,he was only 41

by Anna

I'm 25 now..but I can still remember his smell,I can still remember his laughter,I can still remember his walk.his deep voice.I never forgot the feeling when I first realized that he died in a car accident,5 minutes away from our house.I will never forget the sound of my mother's cry..I will never forget the people looking at me with pity.I will never forger the fisrt day I went to school after my dad's death,I will never forget the kids making fun of me like it was something I should be ashamed for.And yes I felt "ashamed" for this loss,because its easy to change a kid's mind.But I still remember the endless love that my family gave me,that I had everything I wanted,everything I asked for.Yeah that made me a spoiled kid,egoist ect.. but after all,all they ever wanted was to fill the gap.so I dont blame them for the person I am now.They only thing I can not forgive myself is that I was never sweet to my dad.I never said to him "i love you",and that I was a Little grumpy girl when he was around.Dont know why.
P.s thank you all for reading my point of view,and dont forget to keep dreaming and make your dreams come true.

Comments for I lost my daddy when I was 9,he was only 41

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Jul 31, 2012
I lost my daddy when I was 9, he was only 41
by: Doreen U.K.

Anna I am so sorry for your loss of your daddy when you were 9yrs. old. This is such a young age to lose your daddy. It is sad when your Mum and other family members who are older grieve and forget the children because they are caught up with their own grief. This isn't intentional. It just sort of happens. It works the other way also. My husband died. I needed my children to grieve with me. They chose to grieve on their own with their partners and I was left ALONE with my grief. It does HURT. Kids at school can be so cruel. To make fun of someone who has lost their father it is not only cruel but wicked. Your family spoilt you with lots of things and so you feel that you are suffering now as a result and because they gave you so much that you shouldn't blame them for the way you turned out. Who do you blame for how you are feeling? Who would you punish if you could for your hurt? Who would you blame for the way you turned out? If you didn't say nice things to your daddy it was because you were behaving just like a child does. If Adults can say bad things to each other. Who is going to blame a child? I think often children behave better than Adults. That is why Jesus likened his Kingdom unto a little child. You were too young to take responsibility for the things you said or didn't say. But as you are now 25yrs. You are classed as an Adult. you have reached the age of accountability when you would be held responsible for yourself and your actions.
If you get counselling this should help you before time goes on anymore and you end up in a more difficult way. The clue is when you say in your post. " SO I DON'T BLAME THEM FOR THE PERSON I AM NOW!" What did you mean by this statement? This tells me that everything is not well with you now and you are in a difficult situation and you blame it on your upbringing and feeling neglected. Please write again if you need to so that we can understand your level of pain and grief and so be able to support you better.

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