I lost my daughter and my friend

My daughter's name was Brigitte. I named her that because my mom wanted to name me that and I also loved the name. She was 29 when she was killed in a single car accident Feb. 18 2013. She was driving. She had been going through some trouble with drinking and some drugs. She married a guy who got her started in drugs. We drifted apart because I disliked her husband so much and worried for her baby and her older daughter from her first marriage. Her husband ends up in jail and Brigitte starts telling about the abuse she suffered from him. She files for divorce and serves him with a TPO while he was in Jail. She dies just short of when her divorce becomes final so he gets out of jail free. They called it a hard luck case. He was in jail for violation of probation and not paying his first wife child support. He also beat his first wife and abused his kids.
He had not seen Brigitte in a year or the baby. He gets out and cancels our funeral plans and says that he is going to cremate her but if we put his name in the paper as her husband and he doesn't have to pay anything we could go ahead with our funeral plans.
Afterwards he wants custody of the 2yrs old. We fight for 5 months in court and My husband and I have custody of both my daughter's girls. Praise God.
Now the fight is over but I feel this great sense of loss. I miss my daughter so much. I thought to myself I wish she was here for our celebration dinner and then I thought well there wouldn't be a custody celebration dinner if she hadn't died.
Before she died we were getting close again. I felt like I could help her get her life back. I told her I loved her no matter what she had done and I always had. She said I know you do.
Maybe three weeks later she died. I remember the last time I saw her she was walking out of my garage to her truck. I started to shut the door but I didn't I watched her a little longer as she walk out of garage for the last time. A big part of me died with her. She was my baby, my daughter and my best friend. I sometimes feel that my life will never be complete again. I can't even imagine truly being happy again like I was when she was alive. I think to myself - hurry Jesus come back soon. I miss my baby so much. I even asked to die just for awhile so I can tell her good bye and that I will see her later. My heart continues to ache so much still after 5 months. I cry everyday.
I know people if they knew I cried so much would say what about the two grand babies you have now. You have to be strong for them. I am in front of them but any moment alone I hurt so bad. I am glad that God blessed my husband and I with our daughters girls and my son her 30 yr old brother who is married with a 2yr girl also and a sweet wife.
I know I should be grateful. I am but I can't stop missing my baby.

Comments for I lost my daughter and my friend

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Aug 07, 2013
Thanks Kate
by: Anonymous

Thanks for you kind words. I am sorry you lost your son. My daughter's birthday is Nov. 5 and I have already been thinking how sad that day will be and the Holidays to come. I know that anyone who looses a love one feels the same. I have stop crying as much because my eyes have gotten so irritated and dry from all the crying. I guess that is one way to slow the crying down. Thanks and I pray for you to find peace and comfort in the Lord Jesus.

Aug 07, 2013
Your daughter
by: Kate

My heart goes out to you,I lost my son going on 9 months.
I cried twice today. We mill mourn them forever but we are learning to go on as we live. This site helps us know others understand. We struggle together. Someday the love will overwhelm the sorrow. Keep asking God for help. My son was39. We know not why they had to go. It is shock pain sorrow and tears . Somedays we do better than others. I am glad you have the children.

Aug 06, 2013
Thanks for your message
by: Karen Bowling

Yes Jesus is my helper everyday. I thank him over and over for letting me raise my daughter's daughters. I have a wonderful husband also. Married for 31 years. Praise God. I know that God has truly blessed me with so much. Thanks for your comforting words.

Aug 06, 2013
I lost my daughter and my friend
by: Doreen U.K.

I am sorry for your loss of your daughter. Don't apologise for how you feel or how often you cry!! You have lost your child/Adult Child who you carried inside your womb for 9 months. Reared her to be the woman she was and then she dies. How is anyone supposed to cope with this in the near future or ever. Grieve all you need to. If you didn't need to cry you wouldn't. Tears cannot be forced. One day the tears will get less, but for now express them because this is where your healing will come from. People will always pass judgement and insensitive remarks which hurt more. You have to learn to dismiss them from your mind and also choose carefully your confidants as they can add to our grief. I am so happy you and your husband got custody of your grandchildren. I know it will be the hardest job in the world to now have to bring up 2 young children and know every day that it hurts when you know their mom would be doing the nurturing. It won't be easy but you have Jesus on your side. Seek God's help and strength for each day this is all we have in this harsh world. I lost my husband of 44yrs. 15 month ago to cancer and I am praying all the time for Jesus to come back quickly and rescue us from death and suffering and what we want which is to live and reign with him forever and see our loved one's again. I wish you better days ahead in between the tears and sorrow and that the Comfort of God will sustain you and your family. God be with you all and Bless you as you rear your grandchildren.

Aug 05, 2013
missing our love ones
by: Karen Bowling

Thanks for you comments. I know that things will be great at the end. I pray that God will grant you peace and comfort. The missing them is what never goes away. I guess that is just something we must except. I am trying to stay busy with life.
Thanks again, Karen

Aug 05, 2013
I lost my daughter
by: Anonymous--MI

I read your post and while I have not lost a child, I feel what your sorrow must be like. My husband of 43 yrs died from SCA in Nov 2012 and my sorrow is raw and brutal as yours is. I am early on in the grief stages of 8 months and when you speak of wanting to go to heaven and see your daughter I feel that way about my husband. Jesus died for our sins and He suffered the worst death possible. We, His children, will suffer also for His glory but one great day in heaven we will know joys that we cannot not imagine and our tears and sorrows will be gone forever. May God bless you as you are His servant in taking care of your precious granddaughters and your family. May He grant us all comfort and peace on this road of grief.

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