I Lost my mom and dad.
I lost my mom to lung cancer on Aug 12, 2011, then my dad had a stroke and heart attack in Oct and died Dec 11, 2011. I feel very cheated that I lost mom and couldn't keep dad for at least a while longer. My mom and I weren't very close, but my dad and I were. I feel bad for not missing mom as much, but looked forward to having dad alone for at least a couple of years. He kept saying he wanted to be with mom. They were married for over 50 years. And yes I think it is great that they are together forever, but I still get very angry at the fact of losing them both so close together. I don't know if that's normal or not. I snap at my husband quite a bit, to me it's like he doesn't even try to understand, he lost both his parents 4 years apart. I try to talk to him but he just says he knows how I feel that he lost both his parents too, I get angry at him and yell, then I storm off and he doesn't bother to see if I'm ok or not. Sometimes I think that I should just leave him and look for someone who will understand and give me the encouragement and support I need and want so bad. Tonite my daughter and I had an argument on the phone, she is married and living in another town, and I tried to talk to my husband about it, all he kept saying is don't get him involved, I can't understand why he would say something so stupid, she's his daughter too and I just wanted to vent, so of course I got so mad at him I yelled and screamed at him. Now what he normally does is he'll ignore it, go to bed tonite, and tomorrow when he gets home from work not say anything, figuring if he doesn't say anything I will forget about it. I think it all is coming to a head because we just sold their house and split the money, my brothers and sister, so everytime someone says something, like one of my daughters said go on a holiday with some of the money, I feel bad and think about how much mom and dad saved for that money, I just don't want to blow it on a holiday for myself, why should I enjoy myself when they are dead. It also seems that when my husband and I go shopping he always like to buy expensive stuff, which he has always done, but because I have the inheritance, I keep thinking that he wants to buy more using it, crazy huh? I feel like I'm going nuts, usually it's pretty good and I can talk about them without any sadness, but lately it's been harder and harder to do, whenever someone else mentions them, I feel like they have no right talking about them, they were my parents not theirs. See I'm crazy. Thanks for letting me share my story with you. I hope to god no one else has to lose both parents so close together like I did. By the way starting menopause is not helping either.