I lost my Mom on Nov. 18th, 2011

by Leslie
(North Attleboro, MA)

My Mom died suddenly on Nov. 18, 2011. It was a total shock for me and my family . She wasn't even sick. That dreadful phone call came at 3 am and I have never been the same since.
My Mom suffered with high blood pressure for many years, but never sick.
In turn, she needed to have a procedure done for blocked arteries. She came through the surgery fine, but then went into cardiac arrest and died just a few hours later. The doctors said her heart was weakened by all of the years of having the high blood pressure.
My Dad, sister, and two brothers are in shock by this death. We are a very close family that got together all the time.
My Mom was my best friend. I talked to her on the phone 5x a day (if I wasn't with her)-
This is so devastating to me ..... it's hard to get through each day. I miss her so much.
People try to say all the "right" things to me, but I just get angry. I feel so alone and so cheated.
Between my sister and I , my Mom has 4 grandchildren. They miss her so much. It's so hard to imagine them growing up without this beautiful person in their lives.
My emotions vary. I go from sad, to angry everyday.
I'm 43 years old with a wonderful family, husband and two small children..... I should be so happy, but I'm not. My Mom was the best thing in my life (besides my children)-
How can I stop feeling this way ? I just want to stop feeling so angry/ sad, mad, etc....

Comments for I lost my Mom on Nov. 18th, 2011

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May 03, 2012
I lost my mum, only 57, suddenly on 15 Aug 2011
by: Wendy

I am so sorry for your loss and understand what you are going through. I saw my mum 2 days before she passed away and spoke to her the day before. I saw my mum nearly everyday, she lived round the corner from me. I got a call from my brother at 8am on 15 Aug, the worst day of my life. He said mum had had a stroke and dad had gone in the ambulance with her to hospital. I called my dad straight away and told him I was coming to the hospital. He said not to come straight away and that he hadn't seen mum yet and was waiting in the visitors room and that he would call me when he knows how she is. I got my 3 children fed and we sat waiting to hear from him. Half hour later he called very upset crying on the phone telling me to come immediatley with my 2 brothers to the hospital. That car jouney seemed to be so long and I can't explain how I was feeling when I was driving, I can't really remember how we got there. My mum had had an intracebral brain heamorrage. By the time we got there she had already gone. She was on a life support machine with a horrible tube in her mouth that was doing the bratahing for her. The drs had told us that they couldn't do anything. Slowly family and friends started arriving as the news spread about my dear mum. My husband aranged for my 3 children (11,7 & 1 and half yr old) to come say bye to their beloved nanny. I spoke to my mum the whole time she was on the life support, at one point she squeezed my hand, lifted her shoulders up and tears came to her eyes. I told the nurses to do something and that she was alive, they said it was reflexes and that she would never come back. I think that was her way of saying goodbye to me, and not to worry that she was going to a good place. My world has been turned upsdie down, I miss my mum so much. I can't belive I will never see her again, I feel so much pain when I think what happedned to her. She died within hours. She lost her speech and eyesight, my dad and older brother were with her when she was having the stroke at home before the ambulance arrived. Her last words were "I can hear voices in my ears" I never got a chance to speak to her. I love her so much, she was very close to me & my children and they miss her too. My dad, who is also 57, is not coping very well, he is very depressed and really misses her too, she was a very active and friendly person. She had a very big heart and did so much for others all the time. There are many people that are affected by her loss. I love you mum and will never get over loosing you so soon and so suddenly. It was her birthday on 1 May 2012, she would have been 58. I feel so sad.

Jan 25, 2012
any clues
by: Anonymous

I have the same story like both of you. I lost my dad on the 30th of October. he had never before and discovered by chance that he had blocked arteries and did a surgery but got pneumonia from intensive care. I'm in a shock till now!! I'm 34 years old, can't imagine that I won't see my kids will not see him as well. I feel bad and depressed and can't feel I will ever be back to my normal life without my dad!! I don't see life is worth anything anymore!

Jan 25, 2012
thanks for your reply.....
by: Leslie

thank you for your heartfelt reply. I'm so sorry to hear about your mother also. It's so true that we're not the only ones going through the death of a mother, but when it's your own Mom, it hurts so bad that you feel very alone at times. I hope this site will give me the courage to get stronger.....

Jan 24, 2012
I am here with you, in your shoes... Truly
by: Rachel

I just found this site, and started reading through it for all the same reasons you are experiencing. I clicked on the blog site and your story is the first one I have read. It is like I wrote it. I am 34 years old and my mom suddenly passed on December 23rd from a out patient surgery she was to be discharged home in a few hours. She had a history of diabetes, suddenly had a stroke and went into cardiac arrest unexpectedly at the young age of 55. I have three boys and am an only child, and am so lost for what to do, how I am suppose to feel and tring to stay so strong, when everyone asks how I am doing I reply ok, when I am not ok, actually I am horrible! I want you to know, I know what you are going through and to know neither of us are going through this alone may give a bit of ease, maybe in some weird way. As I keep thinking to myself no one knows what I am going through or how hard this really is. Thinking of you!

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