I lost my mom to alcohol
My mom was a very loving, caring mom when my parents were together. In 2008, my parents got divorced and my mom couldn't take it. She obsessed over him, demonized him and wanted everyone else, including my sister and I to hate him too. It always made me mad that we maintained a relationship with him. My mom couldn't not deal with her inner demons and began drinking excessive amount of alcohol. She couldn't have just a couple of drinks, she had to have like 10 until she passed out. She also abused pain meds and sleeping pills prescribed from her doctor. She was a very depressed, sad woman who hated herself for reasons I never figured out. I would get so mad at her when she would drink because she was such a mean evil drunk. She would say hurtful things to me regarding my father. There would be periods where I would stop talking to her all together hoping it would sober her up but it never did. I would go through her room finding wine bottles stuffed in every crevice of her room. She got one DWI and one DUI, lost her license for about six months an I would have to drive her to work everyday. All I wanted was my mom back, the loving caring mom that I knew an missed. She got pretty bad, where she would embarrass me in front of my friends and boyfriend . She started combining alcohol with pills. I told her that I had enough and moved out with my boyfriend. I was so unbelievably mad at her. I didn't see her for Mother's Day about a week later because I felt she didn't deserve it. A few days after that I saw her at my best friends baby shower and the first thing she did was grab for the wine and downed it. I got so mad and told her to leave. She gave me a birthday card and I gave it back to her. I always felt that she would try to indirectly apologize to me by giving me money but it didn't work anymore. I was exhausted and fed up. The next day was my birthday. I couldn't go see her because I went to the city. She called me but I didn't pick up out of anger. She drank drawled to death about three hours later. I'm can't even mourn her because I'm so mad at her. How could she do this to me? On my birthday knowing I would have to much guilt due to or rocky relationship. She left in such a bad, disrespectful way. How could she do this to me? On my own birthday. I feel sick. I want my mom back. I want her to know I love her and thy I'm sorry. I just couldn't deal with her addictions anymore.