I lost my mom to breast cancer 6 weeks ago, my mom was only 40 years old

by Amie



In June last year (aged 39) my mom found a lump, and after examinations and biopsies our worst nightmare became a reality.. We were told my mom had stage 3 triple negative breast cancer. We were told that my moms age was on her side and that with chemo and radio, following a mastectomy, she had a good fight ahead of her. Mom had a mastectomy almost immediately then began her course of 6 lots of FEC T chemo. She then had a 15 day course of radiotherapy.

We were all so proud of how far she had come, and she even went back to work. In January this year she had scans and was given the all clear (for now). However in march mom found a lump in her neck and after biopsies the doctors found the cancer was back but had spread to her lymph system, blood, spine, stomach, liver and lungs.

Although my mom was told it was incurable, she was told that people do live with this cancer for sometimes up to 15 years, so she remained optimistic.

Mom had another lot of chemotherapy however this time it had nasty side effects and mom had a serious nose bleed. From then my mom spent her remaining days in and out of hospital with three separate spouts of pneumonia.

When my mom was taken back into hospital on the Wednesday we all expected it was shortness of breath, she would have IVABX and return home.

On the Friday morning we were called in to hospital and after hours of suffering my mom peacefully passed away, having spent the last few breaths repeatedly telling me she loved me and that I was her best friend.

I am 22 years old and have been brought up by only my mother, as an only child.

Please someone help me through this, i literally feel heartbroken.

I can't see how this will ever get any better.

Many thanks,

Comments for I lost my mom to breast cancer 6 weeks ago, my mom was only 40 years old

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Jul 21, 2014
Sorry for your loss.
by: Cindy

I understand how you are feeling right now. I lost my mother as well back in April from complications of inflammatory breast cancer. She was 68 when she died. Even though we have never met, I would like to say that you are not by yourself. There are people who know, feel, and understand how this has been such a rough knock for you. There is help out there if you are willing to reach for it. I would start by looking for a bereavement counselor. Sometimes these services are free and some will do home visits. Again I am so sorry for your loss and I can honestly say that I know exactly how you feel. Hang in there.

Jul 19, 2014
by: Rachel

Hi Amie,
I'm so sorry to hear about your lovely mum. Cancer is evil, my mum died on the 28th june from ovarian cancer. I am 22 too and struggling so much so our situations aren't so different. I wonder if we could help each other through this awful period of our lives. If you ever want to chat send me an email rsc34@st-andrews.ac.uk

Jul 08, 2014
So sorry
by: Anonymous

Dearest Amie,
I lost my precious mom 4 years ago to cancer. There aren't any words that can console such a loss. I've been on this journey for 4 years now and what I can say is to be kind to yourself. Your emotions will feel like a wave taking you under. Allow for the sadness, anger, hurt and the loss. In your own time, you will get to the other side which is, learning to live without her physical presence because she will always live within your heart. Be kind to yourself. Peace, Yolanda

Jul 05, 2014
I lost my mom to breast cancer 6 weeks ago, my mom was only 40 years old
by: Jane

Dear Arnie, it heards so much to reed your words. The first fime, when my mom had died, I felt shocked. My brain unterstood that my mom died, but my heart was closed. It opened only realy slowly for this awful truth. Do you have somebody< you can talk to? It is a Long, Long way you have to go now. But all the People here will go with you this way Arnie. I don´t know if I can help you, I wish I could write better in english. My mom died one year ago, but I still cry and miss her so much. My heart is broken too. When I can write or speak about all my pains and sorrow, all my thoughts, that is helping me. Or than one of my friens took me in the arms and let me cry. I give you a very big hug Arnie and I´ll pry for you. Much Love Jane from Germany

Jul 05, 2014
Sorry for your lost
by: Anthony

I can only imagine what your going through! I'm 22 also and going through the same thing losing my wife and twin girls in a 3 month period of time.

Hopefully this song helps some.
~dancing in the sky by dani and lizzy

Jul 05, 2014
by: Anonymous

Hi Amie,Sweetheart life is so cruel you are to young to have this happen to you.I lost my mum like you I was young, I can relate to your pain and heartache.Life will be a struggle for a while,the road ahead is complicated.You need time to grieve and grieve in your own way,I know you wont think it now but life will get better the pain will ease and the heartache soften your tears will be will be ponds not rivers until then sweetheart God Bless take care use this wonderful web site, it is my bible since I lost my husband who was the love of my life, I thought I would not be able to live without him, he was young too young, but here I am 22months into my grief life is easier the clouds are light grey not the heavy darkness they once were.

Jul 05, 2014
I lost my mom to breast cancer
by: lerato

I know what what you are going through but here is Bible Verses for Strength
Whenever you feel like you don't have the strength to endure or carry on, or if you're uncertain if you can complete the tasks God has placed before you, you can find Bible verses for strength that will assure you that God is there to provide you with the strength you need.

Jul 04, 2014
I lost my mom to breast cancer 6 weks ago, my mom was only 40 years old
by: Doreen UK

Amie I am so sorry for your loss of your mom to breast cancer. She was so very young. I have 3 children in the same age bracket and I suddenly feel vulnerable, that I could lose them. I can't understand the increase in breast cancer and how it is claiming so many lives at an even younger ages. I had a lump in my armpit and my G.P. told me not to touch it. It was not serious. This is the doctor who ignored serious symptoms that nearly killed my husband when he had ENCEPHALITIS in 2005. I fought a hard battle here in the U.K. taking the matter to our Primary Care Trust and then on to the Healthcare Commission. All I wanted was for our G.P. to give my husband good medical care. I went to the top and the G.P. then came to our home and took responsibility for mistakes made. That is all I wanted. A wake up call from our doctors. My husband then went on to have a serious lung cancer caused by working with asbestos and this cancer was incurable, inoperable, aggressive, and terminal. I nursed him for 3yrs.39days and he died 2yrs. ago. I know all about the cancer journey and chemo, radiotherapy, pneumonia and hospital visits. We had a horrendous journey.
The best way forward for you is to TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME. This is how I got through those worst days, weeks, and months of grief. It is such an unbearable pain that can't be put into words. You may feel as if you will be suffering like this forever. But it does get easier each day. I couldn't function for 6 months. I took to the couch and lay there for 6 months not able to do anything but watch TV and let TV bathe my sorrows and deep grief pain. You can't be expected to make any recovery in these early weeks of loss. Try if you can to see a grief counsellor for support since you are an only child and have no one to support you. Don't suffer in silence.
You are at the worst stage of grief and we can all remember what this was like. I sat quietly letting each stage pass. None of us knows when we will be done with grief. But we can all say that you will start to recover a little each day until the painful episodes get less and you start to feel as if you can cope and start to live again.

Jul 04, 2014
Your mother
by: Cindy

Amie, I am so very sorry that you lost your mother. Such a young age, for her and for you. I know how lost you are feeling, how desperate. I am so sorry. I wish that I could give you the answers to make all of this better but I cannot. 10 months ago I lost my beautiful 17 yr old son Ethan to a very brief illness. I do not know how I have made it this far but I have. My goal is to get through each day. I cannot think about the future, it is too overwhelming. I think that is all any of us can do who have lost someone that they loved so much. Please accept any support that is offered by friends or family even though you may only want to be alone. You have your whole life before you and you know your mother would want you to find happiness and peace. That will take time, a lot of time, but it will happen. For now, get up every morning and plan how to get through that day. Cry for your mother, talk about her, grieve for her. Please take care.

Jul 04, 2014
sorry I hope this song help
by: Janet

This song really help me after my son past
away from a blood clot May 13, 2014 just 10
days before his birthday.
God bless you and give us strength.

""If You Could See Me Now"" on YouTube
"If You Could See Me Now":


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