I lost my mom to cancer (long story sorry)

by Jess
(New York)

Hi I lost my mother on July 3 2009. I just found this site and I can totally relate to what everyone is going though. I lost her when I was 26 - 3 weeks later turing 27. My mother in Feb of 09 got shingles but before her shingles came I noticed some weird stuff my mother was doing but didn't give it any thought. After the shingles went away my mother kept complaining about her stomach.
My mother had no insurance so we tried to take her into hospitals to maybe get her Medicare it was very tough because they are not the best but that is when they told her she was anemic but again not thinking anything were like OK anemic maybe eat better etc. On mothers day of 09 my mom wasn't feeling good and had a fever but we still went over and she made dinner but she layed down. within that week she had 104 temp and we had to rush her to emergency room she had pneumonia (double pneumonia) plus during her stay she was anemic and had a blood transfusion. within 2 weeks she was home but by now she was not eating,and tired all the time. I was becoming upset at her because I did not understand why she was not hungry. She was losing weight, not going out side or even taking baths. My sister finally decided to take her back to our family doctor and the next day he advised us to take her to the E.R because her kidney levels were very down and she could have kidney failure. I ran from work to my mothers house my mom looked so fragile I cant get that look out of my head.
At the hospital her kidneys were bad but not failing bad. They gave my mother a xray cat scan I cannot remember but all I know after that a doctor pulled me and my sister over saying all of a sudden that she has cancer (multiple Myeloma. I could not understand why it took now for them to notice it. We have been in and out of hospitals, doctors office's since February. she was diagnosed some time the second week of June and on July 3rd she passed away. I can only think it had to be complications of her disease plus she was on chemo, they were giving her all vitamins because of her levels plus god only knows how much medicine she was taking. She collapsed at home by the time they took her to the hospital they had her on life support but flat lined many times that they were asking my sister and I to sign do not resuscitate form which is the most hardest thing to think and do. We didnt get to sign it she passed away within minutes.
Since then I miss her more and more everyday. It hurts but time does heal. I have good and then I have bad days. I just wish I had that grown up relationship with her.

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Feb 11, 2012
praying for you
by: Teri

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. You are very young to have had to lose a mom. I lost my husband at the age of 57 just a yr ago- I know what grief is too- may God comfort you on those days when it gets hard. I don't know if you believe in prayer or not, but I will pray for you and your family. God bless, and sorry that you had to experience this.

Feb 10, 2012
our pain
by: ROBBIEnonymous

I just read your story. Just found this site through a frieend. I know how u feel. I lost my mom one year ago Feb. 5th 2011. She died in my arms. It was really unexpected. She had been sick but one is never prepared to loose a parent or anyone.

7 months later I lost my 34 yr.old daughter from cervical cancer. She left behind a husband and two little girls. She also died in my arms. It's bad enough to lose your mom but then your baby girl.

We are never ready for our parents to leave. Somehow I always thought I would have my mom. I really needed her when I was loosing my daughter-just needed her to comfort me. We always need our mom's comfort no matter how old we are.

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