i lost my mom when i was 12 years old

by megan
(midwest city ok)

my mom died 13 years ago she died from high blood pressure and
seizures but i think drugs played a role in her death my mom had a mental illness she had bipolar disorder and postpartum depression when my mom died i was in tears i had trouble accepting her death and i been struggling with my grief for 13 years i know my mom has caused me pain by neglecting me but how can i cope with her death she was 46 when she died i wanted her to stay alive til i finished school but she didn't she died july 1st 2001 and sometimes i cry when i think of her
i know that shes gone and i can't see her anymore

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Oct 30, 2013
I lost my mom when I was 12 years old
by: Doreen UK

Megan I am sorry for your loss of your mom at a time of life when you needed her most. You were so young and were probably not allowed to express your feelings which is why you have perhaps shoved them away and not dealt with not only your loss, but all the other emotions of being neglected. Best thing you can do is find a very good therapist/counsellor who could help you grief your loss of your childhood and also your mom at a time of life when you needed her the most. You have such a void in your life now and all that life throws at you is just piling on top of your sorrow and you need to tackle things that have never been resolved. What is happening now is that everything is now pressing for resolution. You need professional help to sort it out and grieve your losses. I repressed all my feelings and had to go into counselling in my 40's and try to resolve my childhood and it just took longer. But what a difference this has made. I started feeling life is good for the first time in my late 40's. Don't postpone taking the reign of your life now whilst you are young. You will be amazed at how better you can feel. Your mom was a victim of her own upbringing and probably didn't have the life skills to better her life. You do. Take control of your life and make it better in ways your mother couldn't do. She blocked out her pain with drugs and her neglect of you I am sure was not intentional. You have a chance to now not pass down any inherited dysfunction to your children when the time comes. You will relate better. Once you resolve your pain of a neglected childhood you will mature in ways you didn't think possible and the love you have for your mother will surface and you will see her in a different way. I wish you every success in Life.

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