I lost my older son Marcos in an accident caused by an 80 y/o woman
by sendy rivera
November 24th 2005, we had made all plans to celebrate Thanks giving. Friends and family together. that morning I asked my son not to ride his motorcycle, that instead his father, my younger son and I would pick him up. His answer was "Mom I ride safely, you know I do not speed" Sure enough my son did not speed and I knew this, what he or we did not know that an 80 yrs old with a dx of degenerative macular disease was going to intersect him in his right of way. All the dreams and plans for that thanks giving and my b-day which is Nov 25th were shattered, and faded in seconds.
He had just called his brother and told him "I am close to the house" "I'll see you soon, I love you" those were his last words. Words that are constantly repeated in our hearts and minds, but that were stolen from us. It has been a hard and laborious journey, we have found comfort in the love of each other and the friends and family who have never left us alone.
We have dedicated our garden to our son and work constantly in continuing the work we have initiated with him as child, we try to keep alive the things he loved like the passion flower vine and the gardenias and the rest of our garden.The heart of a parent is broken when a child dies, but we must find comfort and a reason to continue. I believe forgiveness is the best medicine,and we have forgiven her irresponsibility. we dedicate time to be together and laugh and cry in front of each other, knowing that one day we will all be together and this grief and pain will all be over. We keep busy(too busy)I read a lot about others experiences and how they have managed to live this horrible pain. Only time and faith( what ever you find comfort) can keep your sanity.Do not quit that is not what your child would have liked for you to do, live each day and allow your self to grief, cry out loud if that give you any comfort, write a letter to your son/daughter, keep a journal of your feelings, seek support of a professional, this journey can not be walked alone.Remind your self of your love for you and other people around you, give thanks for the opportunity to have had your child, he/she was yours specially given to you.reminisce in the beautiful, cheerful, mischief moments.