I lost my older son Marcos in an accident caused by an 80 y/o woman

by sendy rivera
(Miami Florida)

November 24th 2005, we had made all plans to celebrate Thanks giving. Friends and family together. that morning I asked my son not to ride his motorcycle, that instead his father, my younger son and I would pick him up. His answer was "Mom I ride safely, you know I do not speed" Sure enough my son did not speed and I knew this, what he or we did not know that an 80 yrs old with a dx of degenerative macular disease was going to intersect him in his right of way. All the dreams and plans for that thanks giving and my b-day which is Nov 25th were shattered, and faded in seconds.
He had just called his brother and told him "I am close to the house" "I'll see you soon, I love you" those were his last words. Words that are constantly repeated in our hearts and minds, but that were stolen from us. It has been a hard and laborious journey, we have found comfort in the love of each other and the friends and family who have never left us alone.
We have dedicated our garden to our son and work constantly in continuing the work we have initiated with him as child, we try to keep alive the things he loved like the passion flower vine and the gardenias and the rest of our garden.The heart of a parent is broken when a child dies, but we must find comfort and a reason to continue. I believe forgiveness is the best medicine,and we have forgiven her irresponsibility. we dedicate time to be together and laugh and cry in front of each other, knowing that one day we will all be together and this grief and pain will all be over. We keep busy(too busy)I read a lot about others experiences and how they have managed to live this horrible pain. Only time and faith( what ever you find comfort) can keep your sanity.Do not quit that is not what your child would have liked for you to do, live each day and allow your self to grief, cry out loud if that give you any comfort, write a letter to your son/daughter, keep a journal of your feelings, seek support of a professional, this journey can not be walked alone.Remind your self of your love for you and other people around you, give thanks for the opportunity to have had your child, he/she was yours specially given to you.reminisce in the beautiful, cheerful, mischief moments.

Comments for I lost my older son Marcos in an accident caused by an 80 y/o woman

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Feb 16, 2012
Sorry for the loss of your son
by: Anonymous

I am really very sorry for the loss of your son, recently i lost my eldest son in october 2011 so i can understand your pain, dreams unfinished no goodbyes . Suddenly they turn your world upside down and you are never the same again. May god bless u and heal you and take care of our angels in heaven.

Feb 12, 2012
responding to Ashley
by: Sendy

I am very sorry about the loss of your father. It is very difficult and that has no explanation or no pill or remedy to help. Just allow yourself to cry and talk to those with a hearing ear, who can withstand and understand your pain. This time you will have many that will separate from you, not because of you, but because they do not know how to help, what to say how to comfort you.
It is very difficult not to feel alone in spite of friends and family who surround you. This is an emptiness that only time an your commitment and disposition to go on. I have found comfort in our garden, I plant trees in his name, in that way I feel he continues to give. I read and try to find answers and ways to manage after Marcos departed.
take care, be well

Feb 12, 2012
im sorry
by: ashleigh

i lost my dad suddenly a little over a year ago and ive felt alone since then, despite the fact that i have so many friends and family who are always so supportive...and i just read your story and i just want to say im sorry for the pain you have had to endure and i pray that you and your family heal a little more each day
life can be strange and confusing and i only hope that we can all be with our loved ones again someday
may God bless you and your son and your family
be well

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