I Lost My Sister to Suicide and Dad to Cancer in the Span of 11 Days

by Alisa
(United States)

My sister went to New York City on April 8th, 2014 and jumped off a 34 story building. I am the only family she has on the East Coast so I had to go to New York City by myself to identify her body. Then I spent all the money I had to cremate her because our Mother wont pay for anything. My sister was 24 years old and we were close, very close, I am not even a year older than her. It really hurts because I knew something was wrong with her, she was hearing voices, she was homeless by choice, and believed in crazy conspiracy theories, but my Mother did not take it seriously. In fact my Mother has the same views as my sister and actually believes the Mafia killed my sister when there is video evidence that she took her own life.

Six days after I got back home from New York City and eleven days after my sister took her life, my Dad died of Cancer. My Sister and I have different Dads so she did not kill herself because of my Dad's cancer. I already knew that my Dad was going to die of his cancer, but I did not think he would die this soon after my sister took her life. I have only met my Dad twice in my life and so has my five year old son. I feel cheated, that due to the evil Mother I have that I was not able to have a relationship with him until the end of his life. That my son will only have a few days worth of memories of his Grandpa and those memories will be of a very sick man, dying of cancer.

I feel numb a lot and when I am not numb I am angry and I cry in rage. I try to be strong for my son because he has a lot of empathy and if I cry and get upset he cries too, which makes me cry more in guilt. So I bottle it up until I am alone and then I let it out or when my son's at school I let out my anger and sadness on my husband. Who, lucky for me, is very understanding and lets me express my anger and sadness.

Comments for I Lost My Sister to Suicide and Dad to Cancer in the Span of 11 Days

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Apr 23, 2014
I Lost My Sister to Suicide and Dad to Cancer in the Span of 11 days
by: Doreen UK

Alisa I am sorry for your loss of your sister to suicide and your father to cancer.
You should try and see a grief counsellor especially since you lost your sister to suicide. In all cases of sudden death this is traumatic and needing professional support. You will find a safe place to deal with your anger where it would be understood and you be supported. Your husband will feel helpless to support you since he is so close to you and long term may not be able to handle your suffering. You will be amazed at how much better you will cope with your grief. Death sets off so many triggers that come all at once and often hard to separate. This is the work of a counsellor. I have done the counselling bit and I am in a much healthier place emotionally. I dealt with my losses and my anger.
I lost my husband to a deadly cancer 2yrs. next week and I still feel such deep sorrow. this will be on going for some time for many of us. The cancer journey is a difficult one and affects everyone. Often mothers make decisions that affect their children and may regret this but don't see this at the time. It can go on for a long time and the rift may never heal. You owe it to yourself to heal from this awful pain you are in and for not being able to see your father in your life. This is a loss that will affect you if you don't deal with it. I am talking from experience. Taking one day at a time is the best way forward.

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