I lost my sister to suicide

by Sable
(New york)

Amanda

Amanda

My name is Sable and my sister's name was Amanda. Amanda was my best friend and the only person I could talk to she would understand me and no one else did. Amanda was going though bulling and told to kill herself a lot and one day she couldn't handed it no more it hurt her everyday to wake up in the morning. So in July she hung herself and she died. I went to wake her up and I found her. This was 2 years ago and I can never forget that day because it hurt me so much. 1 month ago I tried to kill myself I'm alive and I tried suicide. I'm bulled and told I should do the same as my sister. I cry myself to sleep every night I stopped talking to people I hate myself I think I could of stopped her

Comments for I lost my sister to suicide

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Oct 17, 2013
I'm doing better
by: Sable

So I'm doing better! I have my friend to help me thought it! Thank you to both of you!!!

Jul 11, 2013
I lost my sister to suicide
by: Doreen U.K.

Sable I am sorry for your loss of your sister and best friend. This loss will hurt you so deeply you wonder how you can go on in life. It is understandable that you may feel like ending your life and what is there to live for. Amanda should have told someone what was going on. these bullies act in a way to isolate you so you feel you have no friends and no one likes you. It is frightening to realise the level bullying is taking when it starts claiming lives. NO person in the world is worth taking your life for. I believe in God and this is where I get my strength from to carry on living. If you knew what I have to experience in life you would wonder how I manage to go on living. It is God who carries me. It is God who gives me my strength. I know he is looking after me so I have the confidence to go on. Don't live your life in isolation. Tell as many people as you can and EXPOSE ANY BULLY. In England it was once thought that bullies would be named and shamed on TV. This would be good. I think bullies would think twice if they were EXPOSED.
Whatever you do. DO NOT KILL YOURSELF. You are a valuable person your mom gave birth to and reared to be the person you are today. I remember being bullied and feeling scared but that was over 55yrs. ago and bullying is worse today. But this bullying left me feeling so inferior that I was never able to overcome this till I was 32yrs. of age and so took myself off to counselling in my 40's and this saved me. I wanted to die also. So I know how you feel. I am a much stronger person today and I do challenge bullies. I won't let them get away with it. What battles I can't fight I leave to God. IT WORKS. What I am experiencing in life now would make anyone want to give up and end life. BUT I WON'T. I will let God be my strength. But I will do my part to expose those people who do the wrong. People prey on your weakness. Make yourself stronger. They will think twice. Go see a counsellor and get your self esteem back and feel stronger to take on the challenges of life. Remember You are Important to God. He sent his son Jesus to die for YOU so we can have eternal life. Now this is something to be happy about. JESUS DIED FOR YOU. Now you go on and LIVE and enjoy your life as best as you can and ask Jesus to Heal you from the loss of Amanda. HE WILL. trust God. Tell him all your troubles and let God be your strength when you feel you have none.

Jul 11, 2013
Dear Sable,
by: Pat

You are a precious, beautiful child. People who bully do so because they think it is a way to be accepted by the others who do the same thing. It is also a sign that they feel devalued. By bullying someone else, they think they have more power, but nothing could be further from the truth. Kids who bully are seeking attention, probably because they do not feel loved at home.

Sable, you have lost your dear sister. I am sooo very sorry. I do not want you to follow in her footsteps. Please call the suicide hotline at 1-800-784-2433. They will listen and guide you to resources where you can get help. You are stronger than you think. You wrote out your feelings on this website. We care because we have all lost loved ones. In the past 2 years, I have lost my brother, father, mother, and fiance'. It hurts really bad to try to find my way in life without the ones I love so much.

I think you should be talking to your parents, as well as the school counselor, a teacher, or anyone you trust at school. If this is happening to you and your sister, it is also happening to others. There is no need to feel like a snich. You will help yourself and anyone else who might be victims of the bullies. This is also a way to get the bullies help. No one really wants to be cruel to others on purpose. They need to realize what they are doing and learn how to stop it.

In your grief, take this as an opportunity to help yourself and others. I know your sister would not want you to hurt yourself. You can honor her by getting help and talking to the right people who can help stop the bullying. If the school is not doing anything about this, I hope that your parents can get you in another school or get the police to help.

What you have experienced is horrible. I have come to realize that the challenges we face in our lives are what helps us grow, learn, and become better people. Hurting yourself and others (as the bullies do) will only lead to problems with the law and causing more pain for others who love you. By writing here, you have taken the first step toward healing and finding your way through all of this horrible situation. The more ways you find to reach out for help, the better you will feel. Your sister was a beautiful girl and so are you. Don't waste your time in pain and tears because some losers don't know how to be nice to others. The bullies need help too. All of this can be stopped, if you are brave enough to speak up and tell your parents or anyone you trust who can go to the school authorities and get this stopped.

Please get help right away and write back to tell me how you are doing. I send you many hugs and blessings. Pat

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