I lost my sister to suicide

by Pebbles
(Australia, QLD, Brisbane )

I lost my 35 year old sister, a mother of 5, a wife, a daughter, an aunty to suicide. I knew she had been battling depression but I had no idea it was this bad. We had dinner the Saturday before this happened and she seemed fine. We were laughing, we had a few drinks and then we went home. I spoke with her on the phone the next day. She seemed fine. We texted each other Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. The last time I heard from her was the morning of. She seemed fine. She hid it well. That night it happened and my life changed forever. My whole world has been turned upside down. It's been 12 weeks today. I miss her so much. I wish she reached out to me. I would have done anything in my power to help her. I had no idea it was this bad.

Comments for I lost my sister to suicide

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Sep 06, 2013
I am so sorry
by: Doreen U.K.

Vern I am sorry for your loss of your brother in 77. In those days Suicide was stigmatised and families would be reluctant to say their loved one died from suicide because it somehow left the families carrying the shame for this type of death. Today life has changed somewhat. Suicide is not so stigmatised as it was years ago. Come out and speak about what you have carried for over 36yrs. since you say you still feel the grief as if it was yesterday. You won't ever forget your brother and what caused him to end his life. But now you do have the opportunity today to Heal better from your loss. don't let bottled up grief limit your life. It is possible with the correct support to tackle a death years back. If you repressed your grief or didn't talk about what happened it gets locked up and one can't get at it to try and resolve the difficulties one is left holding. I tackled my repressed memories in my 40's and I healed in ways that has left me with an inner contentment that allows me to embrace life better and cope with even the death of my husband to cancer and other losses. We each have our own way of coping. But my experience may help someone to not feel so stigmatised by what happened in their family years ago. I have studied briefly the dynamics of counselling and it is so interesting it is not as many people think. Telling your business to a stranger. There is a fascinating skill in dealing with repressed memories. when they come to the surface they evaporate and the feeling is fantastic. One can never go back to the same feelings again. A Healing takes place that makes one FREE. My depression of 40yrs. left me and has never returned. HEALED AND FREE AT LAST. Do what works for you. We each have our own way forward. But sharing my experience will help someone to lose the shame and guilt many people carry for years from their past.

Sep 05, 2013
I lost my sister to suicide
by: Doreen U.K.

Pebbles I am sorry for your loss of your sister to suicide 12 weeks ago. Depression is a very difficult illness to cope with. I suffered depression for 40yrs. and tried to end my life many times but was saved each time by a phone call, or the doorbell. I then managed to find an excellent counsellor. I was resistant to counselling and didn't think it would work. When it did I felt as if I was given my life to me for the very first time in my 40's. I found a happiness that won't leave me. An inner FREEDOM. My nephew wasn't so fortunate. He was 30yrs. of age when he threw himself in front of an express train 7yrs. ago tomorrow. He suffered depression. He called out for help. We all did what we could but it wasn't enough. He wanted to go back home and live and he didn't get on with his stepfather so he ended his misery.
What suicide does to families cannot be put into words. The wounded trail of hurt and loss is indescribable. Best you can do is get a good counsellor to help you work through this pain and help you to move forward otherwise you could be stuck in grief for a long time. I lost my husband of 44yrs. 16 months ago today to cancer. I have a sorrow that is healing slowly. Take one day at a time. This is what has helped me and many other's to get through life. Only one day at a time. Healing is slow and very painful. my son's ex girlfriend suffers depression to the point of wanting to end her life. I do what I can for her but I fear each day for her safety. Your sister leaves 5 children without a mother. She lost the Will to Cope. There is so much tragedy and sorrow in the world that we will struggle each day to get through life. Do what you can for your sister's children. If you put your focus here for a while it will help you get through some tough days ahead. Just don't put your own life on hold doing this. In time you will start to heal from the loss of your sister. It won't always be this way you feel now. I can still remember how I felt in the worst days of raw grief. Somehow it comes back some days. No two days are alike. Each day is different. You will have good days and bad days. Embrace your grief. Don't avoid it. You will get through it in time.

Sep 04, 2013
I am so sorry
by: Vern

My brother commited suicide back in 77 and I still remember it and at times still have nightmares and it haunts me. I am so sorry. Find a support group. Ask people for help even though suicide is at times a taboo event. People are reluctant to speak on it.

Read what I wrote on here about my brothers death. I am so sorry.

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