I lost my son Mark

My son died 2 months ago by accidental Aspirin overdose,he was 41 year old and healthy good looking man I never forgotten that day which almost shutdown my life and it also never the same as long as I live.
I miss him so much and cried everyday since he was gone I
don't know why and never get any answer unless I see him
I don't know how to live my life when he is not around ever
so hard so suffer as my heart is broken.
I've looked his pictures called and texted him in his cell phone which I still keep it in my plan, thinking he is at his condo busy not seeing me till we will see each other in heaven.
Anyone could help me please give some advice in this website
I am appreciated with any word.

Thanks
Mark's mom

Comments for I lost my son Mark

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Jul 01, 2012
I SHARE YOUR PAIN. I feel your sorrow. mom
by: Anonymous

Dear mom,

I can understand how you really feel. Today I went to the grave of my son with his dad. Oh God! it was so hard even after one year. He was a famous dentist, the best son, kind, caring handsome and only 37 years old. Everybody loved him. I couldn't ask for better son. Last year on the first of July he commited suicide. He jumped from 21 floor of his balcony. He was married three years ago and his wife gave him his depression and he killed himself in front of her and she did nothing. Just to get rid of him. Then she sold all his belonging condos, cash, furniture everything he had and left to big city to join her family. She did bring to this marriage just some cloth in one suitcase and not worked or put one penny during short time of their marriage. I believe in Karma. I pray to God everyday. Since then I am in pain so much as you know and it is not going away after one year. I cry every day even now and talk to myself and feel so much guilty because he wanted to divorce her and I suggested not rush to divorce. This pain of yours and mine is going to stay the rest of our lives and we will take it to our grave. The only thing helped me a little is going to psychiatrist and therapist weekly and getting depression pills. The other thing that helped me is reading Leslie Flint direct voice medium to convince me he is for sure alive and is happy with my dad and my other family members which are in other world. I tell my self he is waiting for me and hopefully soon I join him. I talk to him aloud or in my mind everyday. It is very hard. I pray a lot. It helps. The pain is devastating I know it. But the parents do not have a choice then to live with this pain. One day you and me we will meet our child in the heaven. Our son come and get us when our time comes and we will stay with them in happiness and peace. God willing maybe time will heal our sorrow a little bit until we join them.

Your friend

Jun 14, 2012
I am so Sorry
by: carol,seans mom

I am so sorry for your loss. I do understand your pain. I lost my 24 year old son suddenly seven months ago today. The last seven months have been filled with shock, anger,sadness and overwhelming pain. I still cry all the time. Sean was the oldest of three and my only son. I called him my sunshine. Sean was by no means perfect,none of them are but honestly he didn't start trying me as a parent until after nineteen. Sean was a sweet soul young man and very sincere. If he loved you he loved you two hundred percent. Sean was very popular in highschool. He was hansome and athletic and girls loved him. When he went to college he realized it wasn't for him. Sean had a few mishaps with car accidents. He was back on the road to fixing his let downs. I always told him be patient,you are young,you have so much time. That didn't work out so well. He had an appointment seven months ago today with a college he had been accepted into. He decided to give it another go. He asked me to take the ride with him and gladly I took the day off from work and was going. Sean worked the overnight shift so on November thirteenth he went to sleep mid day. He was scheduled to work that night and at seventhirty Monday morning I was coming to meet him for breakfast and off we were going. He did not wake up that night for work. Instead of spending my day with him planning his future,I sat in I.C.U. of Rhode Island Hospital hearing that my hansome young man would not be coming home. My world has shattered. I have not even started putting it back together yet. Give yourself time. Somedays are so much worse than others. My shock is wearing off and it worries me. I have complicated grief. There is nothing simple about losing a child. It is the worst thing imaginable. Take one day,one moment at a time. I hope you are able to find peace. I still search.

Jun 12, 2012
so sorry you lost Mark
by: Colleen

I am so sorry you lost your son Mark, there is nothing more painful..My son John died last year on April 29,2011. The day my life changed for ever. He got sick the end of March and was diagnosed April 13th, came to stay with us and died 18 days later. The tears will come often, and the pain it is so intense. I think some people think just becase it has been a year, somehow it is OK. But it will never be OK again, I miss him more everyday. I wish I could help you, I will pray for you and hope someday you will find some peace. I wish I could tell you something uplifting, but losing your child no matter what age is unbearable.. When My son died
I was holding his hand, his life flashed before me, I remember when he first kicked me, his chikd hood days, teen age days and adult hood up until his last 40th birthday. I heard the death rattle, he died, I closed his eyes and laid with him for quite a while and now he is gone and I am so lost.

Jun 12, 2012
I Lost my son Mark
by: Doreen England U.K.

Dear Mark's Mum
I am sorry for the loss of your son Mark. You will take a long time to get over the loss of an Adult Child. Mother's don't expect to outlive their children. Being an Adult makes no difference. He is still your child and its hurts like hell to lose a child. The level of mourning will come deep from within your heart and soul with an ache which feels as if your soul is bleeding. You will feel How can I ever recover from this pain and sorrow, with much crying that seems as if it will never end.
You must consider seeking the help of a bereavement counsellor. You will not be able to handle this level of loss by yourself. I am still numb from having lost my husband of 44 years marriage to lung cancer 5 weeks ago. I buried him almost 3 weeks ago. It hurts so much and I too wonder how I can go on in life. Usually when a death occurs it can fracture the family if there is unresolved hurt. My husband worked all over the world as an exhibition carpenter and I had to bring 3 children up by myself and this carries its own problems not having a father around. I was committed to my husband and children so just got on with life and bringing up a family all by myself.
After the funeral my son Christopher 43 years old walked away from me he only wanted to know when the reading of his Dad's Will would be. My daughter has her own issues and she has walked away and so I buried my husband and lost 2 adult children's support. It hurts. I wish I was the one who died as my sorrow is too much.
I can only cope by taking one day at a time. I can't look too far forward as my grief would be too much to bear. You don't say whether you have a husband around to support you or any family members. I am fortunate that I have 3 sisters who are very supportive and this makes a difference. I wouldn't be able to cope otherwise. You need key people in place to help you in your sorrow. It makes it more bearable.
My sister lost her son to suicide 5 years ago. Peter was on anti-depressants which carried suicidal feelings and so Peter took himself up to high buildings and shouted down "Someone Please help me" but no one came and he threw himself in front of an express train. My sister was mad with grief and needed the help of an outside counsellor to help her through the pain. My sister has healed to the degree she will always remember but not with the same level of pain. She is able to support others from her experience and pain and she is an excellent support to me in the loss of my husband. One cannot bear this pain alone. You will recover in time and you have to go THROUGH the pain in order to heal from this loss. It is a hard and painfull journey. You are not alone. I hope that the days ahead will be more peaceful for you and that your recovery will go smoothly.

Jun 12, 2012
I am so sorry for your loss
by: Nancy

Please understand that it has only been a couple of months and that you truly are going through the grieving period. You are talking about your son who you brought into this world, watched him grow, nurtured him and encouraged him in his journey in life. There would be no one person in this world that would expect that you could close the door on this chapter of his life and move on. A mother's journey is so much harder because it started so much earlier than anyone else - we had an intimate relationship with our children while they were still growing inside of us - we could feel them when no one else could - through God's help we were able to give them life and so that is why their death is so hard on us. Please take all the time that you need, do what ever you need to do and learn to let go with love. Remember that holidays and birthdays will trigger emotional outbursts and will be hard but they will not kill you. Find what you can do for yourself to soften the blow. God loves you and He had entrusted you to look after Mark for the time you spent with him and now it was time for Mark to go back home. You will be partnered up again but until you do keep your light shining so others can see the beauty of Mark through you.
Nancy

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