I "lost" my son when he turned a teenager

by Sam
(Doylestown, PA, USA)

I miss my son. He was funny, lovable, loved school, loved learning, wanted to do things with us, spend time with us, talk and ask questions. Then he turned 12 and everything changed. He stopped talking, hid his face with his hair, stopped doing well in school, started sleeping in, not going to school on time, losing homework.
We "lost" him and he has not yet come back. He is now 15 and I am sad every day and miss so much the son I used to have. I know that as the years go on he will grow and change and come back to us but these years are so hard and sad. I am sad for him too as he is missing out on what could be such good times with us. He is on his own path and won't ask for help from us, his parents, but gets it from teachers, from friends and from other people's parents. All I feel from him is anger and hate. I know this is a grieving process. It's just like when my mother died. But that loss I knew was final. Maybe this is and maybe not. I just don't know and that makes it hard to deal with.

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May 04, 2011
Arggg yeah from 12 and up...
by: Anonymous

I lost my son when he was a teenager too. I later found out that he was into meth. After a while I had to protect my family and stopped crying and trying. He did come back later after many mistakes including jail time. My other son was something else growing up too but we are close now. When you see your son and he is focused on you just simply tell him...I miss you. Leave it at that. He will think about it on his own time and may warm up.

Kids are really rebellious these days and treat their parents like crap. I know I have survived the teenage years with 4 so far. And now that they are in their 20's I think that they are going to be o.k. Hold on its going to be a bumpy ride just keep loving him unconditionally. Rules of the house yes but let them know that you love them.

May 03, 2011
My son did the same as yours
by: Anonymous

Cody Lee Cole my son was a rebellious child. Doing drugs, dying his hair black, all the things you said your boy did. He even ran away from home. But it did not take him many years out on his own to learn that being a happy go lucky kid living under your parents house was a good thing. He even cried to me that he wish he had those days back. He and I became very close he even went as far as telling his friends that his Mom was his best friend. He got where he would call me several times a day and when I would tease him about calling "just to hear me breathe" he would tell me he just needed to hear my voice. On the 21st of this month my son will be dead one year. Oh how I wish I had him back even those hard teenage year I now cherish. He was only 27 when he passed from a Diabetic coma. Just keep loving your son and hating the rebellion and he will come back to you. Please say a prayer for me on the 21st of May I am having a very hard time and the closer it gets to that day the worse it get. My prayers are with you and your son. Brenda

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