I "lost" my son when he turned a teenager

by Sam
(Doylestown, PA, USA)

I miss my son. He was funny, lovable, loved school, loved learning, wanted to do things with us, spend time with us, talk and ask questions. Then he turned 12 and everything changed. He stopped talking, hid his face with his hair, stopped doing well in school, started sleeping in, not going to school on time, losing homework.
We "lost" him and he has not yet come back. He is now 15 and I am sad every day and miss so much the son I used to have. I know that as the years go on he will grow and change and come back to us but these years are so hard and sad. I am sad for him too as he is missing out on what could be such good times with us. He is on his own path and won't ask for help from us, his parents, but gets it from teachers, from friends and from other people's parents. All I feel from him is anger and hate. I know this is a grieving process. It's just like when my mother died. But that loss I knew was final. Maybe this is and maybe not. I just don't know and that makes it hard to deal with.