I lost my Soul Mate

I lost my soul mate of 25 years suddenly to a massive heart attack. Everyday I struggle with the loss and the thought of never being with him. We worked together since we met and started our own business before we got married. He was the kindest, funniest and most interesting man I had ever met. I was 23 and he was 30 and after we met we were together ever since. He had so many women that wanted him but for some reason he wanted me and I could hardly believe it. I knew he was the one when he put his arm around me - I felt like I was finally home. We had trouble conceiving our first child and after 13 years of marriage and giving up we were suddenly pregnant. Today she is 10 years old and she misses her special Daddy. He died on Oct 2nd and its Nov 23rd and we are still crying hard all the time. I don't know how I will get over this loss. The day of the funeral I already had a guy interested in me and he has come back and asked me when I would be ready? Very funny. I told him I didn't know because I was still in love with my husband and wasn't sure when that day would come. He said he was sorry to hear that. He's a nice guy but I am just not ready of course. I am going to take it one day at a time and do the best I can and be the best parent I can be. I am so thankful for the support and love of my family, neighbors and friends. I feel so blessed. I started going to church again which is really helping. To all of you out there I wish you the best and I feel so bad for those who lost loved ones - I have never felt worse in my life. I received an anti depressant and anti anxiety drugs from my doctor that
at least are keeping me sane and healthy. These were drugs that were really needed. After 1 year she plans on weaning me off both of them. I have heard not to make any big decisions until 1 year after the death of your partner - it normally takes that long to really be thinking clearly.

Comments for I lost my Soul Mate

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Dec 05, 2011
So much alike
by: Kim

Hi my name is Kim and I'm shocked at reading your story. It's like I'm reading my life story right now. On July 16, 2011 I came downstairs to find my husband had passed away from a heart attack on the couch. We were married for 18 years and we were true soul mates. We were the best of friends and we could tell each other anything and act however we wanted with each other and felt so comfortable. Ten years ago he became disabled due to a back injury at work and I've always been a housewife. We spent every waking moment with each other and never ran out of things to say and we never got bored with each other or fought. So many people would ask us how can you stand being with each other so much, we would say because we love each other and you should want to spend that much time with your spouse. Since he has passed my whole world has turned upside down. We had two beautiful children and one gorgeous grandson. I'm only 37 and my husband George was only 48. I know how you feel and I myself just feel like I am just existing and I don't know how. I cry all the time still and think about him every waking moment. Also I still don't sleep well because I wake up thinking if him. Like you I also started going back to church hoping I can find some comfort in God. Please know you are not the only one feeling so lost right now. I'm not really looking forward to Christmas without him, it was his favorite holiday and thanksgiving was hard enough. I will include you and your daughter in my prayers tonight too. If you ever need to talk just write and I will answer ASAP. Take care, Kim

Nov 24, 2011
My deepest deepest sympathy
by: Anonymous

hi there. i read your so very sad grief blog.
i do understand 100 percent how you are feeling, honestly i do. i lost my mother due to a very wrongful--horrible death because of a hospital and 2 particular nursing homes in my hometown of billings, montana. i hold very deep sadness, bitterness, anger, feelings of frustration and fear. my tears and sadness seem to consume every second, every minute and every hour of my life, and nothing seem to fulfill all that extensive pain. i would love to have the opportunity to visit with you----maybe we could help each other with our sorrows, and again, i am so so very sorry for your loss. i hope we can talk sometime. even though the pain is so intense and the sadness remains, it's still reassuring to know that someone else does care. i'm the nursing home nightmare---negligent hospital person. give me a jingle if you feel like talking. 406-861-7392. i posted a comment on the grief blog nov 22 2011.
I know it's difficult to go on and I would be more than happy to help if I can.
My name is Deborrah----please call----i'd love to visit with you. I'm the nursing home nightmare---negligent hospital--comment person. I'm working adamantly to form a grief support group in case you'd like to visit about that. Hope to hear from you. And again I am so very sorry.

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