I lost my soulmate 11/23/2012
I lost my soul mate 11/23/12. Although we met late in life, we had over twenty-five years together. When I met him I asked the Lord for at least thirty years, but I guess it was just not meant to be. My husband died from complications of phase four lung cancer. We were told on 10/11/11 that a small tumor on his right lung was cancerous and should be removed. Surgery was completed 12/27/12 by a very competent and caring surgical team. Our story begins, when we returned from our vacation celebrating twenty five years of marriage. He told me he was coughing up blood and had been for a couple of months. We immediately scheduled appointments with his general doctor who referred him to different specialist, throat doctor, gut doctor and lastly cancer doctor. At first they thought it was TB, but after all the test results were returned, TB was ruled out. More tests were ordered and completed in which they finally found the cancer in his lung. This took approximately six months, surgery was scheduled and completed. We thought we were ok and he would be part of the 5 percent that beat this horrible disease. However, that was not the case, four months later he was coughing up blood again, more tests were taken and another tumor was found in the same lung, since it had not spread and was not in the blood stream yet, a second surgery was attempted. However when the surgeon when in she found an additional tumor outside of the lung, we were all of a sudden in phase four. He completed three cycles of chemotherapy that only broke down his body in which he never fully recovered. The cancer continued to spread and my dear one became less and less mobile. We continued to have hope that somehow he would recover but it became obvious the later part of October that he was getting worse and not better. The test after the chemotherapy treatments indicated the cancer had become more aggressive and he had 2-6 months to life. We did not accept this and went home determined to beat this horrible disease. I read all the books about cancer treatments, change of eating habits, exercise everything but it was too late. We fought this for over a year, the last two months were horrible. He couldn’t sleep, eat or rest in peace without coughing up blood, blood, blood. It broke my heart to see him in such pain and misery but all we could do was to keep living taking each day one at a time. Two and a half months later, he coughed up a river of blood and became delirious with violent shaking. I called 911, the ambulance came and we went to the hospital. He never returned. He transitioned to our Lord and Savior seven days later. I am alone. He was my rock, my backbone, who loved me unconditional regardless of my faults. I don’t know what I am going to do. I have a lot of support from my family and church community but I am alone. I believe in God and know he will not put on us any more than we can bear but I feel so alone and afraid I will never be complete or happy again because my mate , my friend, my love is gone.