I lost my Soulmate and my best friend

by Michele
(NC)

One week ago tommorrow.......my soulmate died in a tragic fatal car crash....He was my world....my rock...my comfort and strength. We did EVERYTHING together.....we were each others lives....our kids are grown and we were enjoying the part of making each other our priorities again. He died on Valentines day :( I was gonna give him his card and stuff when he got home.......but he never made it to work. My pain is still raw and new......and I'm so numb....its like a dream i cant wake up from. I told him sev times that I love him more now than i did when we married...even tho i didn't see how that was possible...it was so true. He was the greatest husband and Dad in the world.....and he was always a family first man.

I miss him so terribly...and I dont know how i am goin to go on now.......I know it's just been a week.........but the future seems so grim to me right now....how can i possibly go on without him?

Comments for I lost my Soulmate and my best friend

Click here to add your own comments

Sep 21, 2014
I lost my soulmate.....and nothing was the same since
by: Marsha

On Oct.1.1997, my soulmate & bestfriend, Steven Lavine died in a motor cycle accident. I had just seen him less than an hour before and we arranged for his pickup to go to the movies and then I got the call that he was laying dead in the street. My world crashed down like a ton of bricks. I can still see everything happening in slow motion, like I was having an out of body experience and watching myself scream and cry. He was my everything and my entire world revolved around him. I kept pinching myself days after through my tears to see if it was all a dream or a terrible nightmare. There was so much I didn't get to say! I wanted him to know how much I loved him. For days leading up to the funeral, I was trying to figure out why God, my Heavenly Father, who I was told LOVED me so much, would allow something like this to happen to me. Then my bestfriend's mother, Angela, gave me the most logical answer to date. She simply took me by the hand one day while I was crying and said to me, "God gave you Steve as a gift and instead of focusing on the Giver, you made the gift your priority." At the time, Steve was my EVERYTHING! When he was happy, so was I and if for some reason I didn't see or hear him, I would be miserable until he called or showed up. One word from him made my day! I was totally enveloped by that boy. Still years later, the pain is still very real and hurts like it just happened. It took awhile to get involved with someone again but I now have a son and am in a relationship with another special someone but the love between us is NOT like what Steve and I had considering we knew each other from the time we were 5 years old. I met his female friends and he did likewise, either of us never approving of each other's spouse until we finally got together and of course, we approved. When I hear certain songs, it takes me back to our teenage years; when I smell Nicole Miller's cologne for me, I constantly look around for him; he is everywhere and in everything even though he is not hear. The most hurtful thing about losing him going away, is that I'm not going to run into him in the supermarket, the city or suddenly pick up the phone one day and his voice be on the other end. That's what really kills me! I'm afraid I'll forget what his voice sounds like. I know it's been 17 years but I still don't ever want to forget it. I sometimes feel as though I'm cheating on him in life. Waking up, laughing, having a life basically, because his was taken so prematurely. I keep a photo of him in my phone so that I can see him constantly and the truth is, I don't ever want to forget his face. His beautiful eyes, the curve at the corners of his mouth, NOTHING! I sometimes wonder, why people say that time heals all wounds, because so far mine is still very raw. I wish someone would tell me when and if it DOES ever get any better.

Sep 16, 2014
My Heart!
by: love

I love my soul mate and my kindred spirit suddenly on June 28, 2014. Well you had the battling lyme disease, it was his heart that took him away. Apparently the lyme disease attacked his heart. Well there was a 20 year age, difference between us, we had so much in common and enjoyed each others company so much. We had a plan to move forward with life and be together forever. We were colleagues, friends and lovers. Now I have to try to figure out how to pick up my life and move forward without him. There are no words that anybody could provide to anybody, who has lost some one so close, that could ever give give the comfort. We can only be grateful knowing that with whatever time we had with this person we were blessed to have the time that we had. I love you my Heart!!!!

Sep 11, 2014
I feel the same Cici
by: Anonymous

I left my darling to have a lay in as he had felt tired the night before. I told him to have a lay in and i would sleep in a seperate room with baby so not to disturb him. I often question myself as to if only I had gone to him sooner or slept next to him. Instead I sat feeding our son whilst the love of my life, the father to my child lay dying. I hate myself for it and wish I could change things. They say he had died about 4 to 5 hours before I found him. I cant see me ever getting over it ever

He was and always will be my world x


Sep 02, 2014
Lost my soulmate and the love of my life.
by: Cici

I also know what it's like to lose your soulmate. I lost mine march 15 2014. On march 13 we got up for work, had our morning coffee and watched the morning news together. He headed out the door for work and I told him love you too just like I did everyday. It was about 8:30 in the morning when he called saying he had really bad indigestion ( he always had it) and I asked if he had taken anything for it. He told me he did and he was feeling a little better but it caused him to sweat and his shirt was wet. He was always sweating so I didn't think anything was wrong. I told him to call me in a little while and tell me how he was feeling. He felt so bad that he asked his co-worker to bring him back to work so he could go home. They told him they thought he was having a heart attack. He always told me that one day he would call me when he was dying and that I would miss his call. I did miss the last call he made to me because I was in the shower. I go over this in my mind everyday. When I called his phone back eventually an EMT answered his phone and told me to get to the hospital that it didn't look good. The hospital worked on him for 7 hours before I was brought back in the room to see him. I never left his side for the next two days. He never woke up and died on march 15. He was my life, my soumate, my best friend. He was the happiest person and always made me laugh. My world had come to a complete stop and everyday I think when will this nightmare end? I go through the motions of life but it doesn't seem real. I can't forgive myself for missing his last call. I know he was probably afraid. He was alone and I wasn't there when he needed me. I cry everyday and will always love and miss him until the day I die. (luv u too forever sweetie).

Aug 03, 2014
I lost my soulmate just after our baby was born
by: Aria

I know the pain of sudden loss. My love of my life was only 30 years old. We had just had a baby boy who was three weeks old. My darling fiance went to bed and never woke up. When I found him in the morning I was terrified. I still think back to that morning and my stomach turns and the tears well up. I am so afraid to be alone. I never planned to be a single parent. I have not been able to return to our home and my son and I sleep at a friends house. Its all so strange and unnatural. I plead that he be returned to me and constantly ask why this had to happen. I feel lost completely lost. We had so many plans. Because we had not gotten married yet they wont put his name on the birth certificate so my son looks fatherless. This hurts so much. We wanted to get married but also needed to have IVF so it was IVF first or wedding first. In a way I am glad we did IVF as I would not have our beautiful boy now and I would be completely alone. But I wish I had his name and our son had him recognized as the father. All my darling wanted was to be a daddy. It all seems so wrong

Apr 16, 2014
How do I go on
by: Larry

I lost my wife to pancreatic cancer on April 7th.The thought that she would go before was always unthinkable' I prayed every night for God to watch over her and protect her.
she was my first girlfriend,she was 15 and I was 18.We married when she was 20 and I 23.We had 2 boys and a daughter.We have 6 grandchildren.They worshiped her and she them.I never wanted to go anywhere without her.I was always happiest when we were together.We were married 55 years and I treasured every moment.The day started with I Love you and ended the same way.She was my life and my reason for living.I am trying to carry on for the kids and Grandkids.She was truly the most gentle soul I have ever known.She had no enemies and so many friends.Every day I wish God would take me so we could be together for eternity.She was my reason for living and I pray for the strength to carry on

Jun 16, 2013
total loss
by: joshua

MY LIFE STARTED WITH LOSS AT THE AGE OF 3.A DRUNK DRIVER KILLED MY FATHER.YES I GREW UP TO STILL BE A MAN AND HAVE CHILDREN ONLY TO FIND MYSELF STANDING NEXT TO MY SONS GRAVE.THOMAS PASSED IN A HOUSE FIRE AT 22 MONTHS.THAT WAS APRIL 26TH OF 2005.IN 2007 I REALIZED THIS AMAZING WOMAN I HAD KNOW FOR SOME TIME WAS A MIRROR IMAGE OF MY INNER BEING.SALLY BISHOP SHAW.WE GOT MARRIED ON 8/21/2008.SHE HELPED ME SO MUCH IN THE PROCESS OF HEALING THAT I WAS FAILING AT .OF COURSE WE HAD OUR UPS AND DOWNS AND I DONT REGRET FOR MOST PART THE DOWNS BECAUSE THEY TO SHOWED US JUST HOW TRUE WE WERE FOR EACHOTHER.THE LAST YEAR AND A HALF WAS SO PERFECT THAT AT TIMES IT SEEMED UNREAL.TO KNOW THAT WE HAD FOUND THAT ONE PERSON WHO WE COULD WITH NO FEAR OPEN OUR SELVES TO.NEITHER ONE OF US COULD WAIT TIL BED TIME KNOWING WE WOULD BE IN EACHOTHERS ARMS ALL NIGHT.,WAKING TO THE EYES OF OUR LIFE LONG DREAM.OUR SOULMATE.THEN ON DEC 21ST OF 2012 SHE WAS DIAGNOSED WITH LUNG CANCER.SHE HAD ALREADY BEAT HOGDKINS WHEN SHE WAS 29 AND HAD ALL THE TREATMENT THEN THAT A PERSON COULD HAVE IN THERE LIFETIME.WE KNEW OF THE TUMOR SINCE 2009 AND IT WAS GROWING SO SLOW THAT EVEN WHEN THEY PUT HER IN HOSPICE WE KNEW SHE WOULD BEAT IT.ON MAY 26TH,2013,WE WALKED OUTSIDE TOGETHER FOR THE 1ST TIME IN A COUPLE WEEKS.IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL DAY.WE WENT BACK IN AND SHE LAID ON MY SHOULDER TO TAKE A NAP.WHEN SHE WOKE UP EVERYTHING WENT DOWNHILL SO FAST IT STILL DOESNT FEEL REAL.SHE HAD ASKED ME TO PROMISE THAT IF SHE DID PASS IT WOULD BE IN MY ARMS.I CALLED 911 AND THEY TOOK HER TO THE CLOSEST HOSPITAL.THE DOCTOR TOLD ME SHE WOULDNT SURVIVE THIS.THEY ADMITTED HER AND ALL NIGHT I SAT NEXT TO HER TIL FINALLY AT 750 AM I REALIZED I COULD MOVE A CHAIR,PULL HER BED NEXT TO THE BENCH AND LAY WITH HER.I LAYED MY HEAD ON HER SHOULDER,STARTED PRAYING AND HER BREATHING RELAXED.AS SHE IN MY ARMS LET OUT HER LAST BREATH I FELT LIKE I WAS GOING WITH HER.I HOPED.SHE PASSED AT 755AM ON MAY 27TH.I CAN FEEL HER WITH ME BUT IM SO LOST AND ALONE WITHOUT HER.EVRYDAY I WAKE UP AND REMEMBER SHES GONE.I KNOW MORE THEN MOST THAT WE ALL HAVE TO GO.I JUST PRAY MY WAIT TO BE WITH SALLY IN HEAVEN ISNT TO LONG AS ITS ALREADY BEEN.I LOVE YOU MY ETERNAL QUEEN.YOU ARE AND ALWAYS WILL BE THE BETTER HALF OF ME.TIL WE MEET AGAIN MY TRUE LOVE.TIL WE MEET AGAIN.

Mar 21, 2013
FOR HENK MY LOVE
by: Stella B Steinbach

hENK 11 JUNE 1064-28 JANUARY 2013

YOU WERE MY STARSHINE
NOW THE SKY LIGHTS ARE OFF,
WHEN WILL WE BE ONE ?
AND SHINE BRIGHT AGAIN.

DREAMS OF A FUTURE LIFE
WHERE YOU WILL BE MINE,
TO HOLD EACH OTHER TIGHT
AND GLOW LIKE SUNSHINE.

WE WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER
NOTHING CAN CHANGE THAT,
AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
YOU LIVE IN MY HART.

ACROSS DIMENSIONS
WE HOLD EACH OTHER'S HANDS,
FREE ME FROM MY CHAINS
THATWOULD BE VERY KIND.

I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME
FROM THE OTHER END OF TIME,
PLEASE WAIT FOR ME BABE
UNTIL I'M BY YOUR SIDE.

By: Stella Blackwell Steinbach
All rights reserved

Dec 26, 2012
Soul mate loss
by: Carol Morrison

I lost my gorgeous man on 1st September 2012, When I met him we both knew that we were meant to be together, He was the warmest, kindest most selfless man I will ever know.
He left the house in the morning to visit his mum, he texted me when he left, when he had been gone to long, I started to worry, his mobile was answered by the ambulance service who said that he had collapsed with back spasms, we rushed to the hospital, I was talking myself into the fact he may have slipped a disc, to may nurses and doctors were rushing round him and we were left in the waiting room. THe senior nurse came in and said they were transferring him to a London hospital, we were told straight up that we should say our goodbyes as the chances of him making it to the hospital let alone the surgery were minimal, he had a abdominal aortic anurysm that had ruptured and was bleeding into his stomach I rushed round to see him and I told him I loved him and told him to hold on for me. He died in surgery later that evening.
I am lost, the pain is i unbearable and it does get worse, I feel that my world has been torn in two, we were both in our fifties and I never expected to lose him so young. I know there will never be anyone who will take his place, no one had ever loved me so selflessly as he did, I write to him in a journal everyday, the people who said earlier on this site that the worst thing people can say to you is be strong, he wouldn't want to see you like this, and you must carry on for him are the worse things anyone could say but I know they mean well.
The pain and feeling in my heart at times has made me feel like I am have a heart attack, I cry for him everyday, but not in front of anybody. I miss you my lovely lovely man and I wish anyone going through this my love and thoughts, death is all so final there is no going back, there are no second chances.
I feel honoured to have been his partner for eleven years.
RIP Baba

Jul 28, 2012
So very sorry
by: Brendan

I am so sorry Michele to read of your great loss. I lost my wife and soul mate 3 months ago and the pain is dreadful and seems to get worse every day. I really feel for you and hope you can find strength to see you through the future.

My wife and I are not deeply religious but I pray a great deal for her as I have done all our life together. Some say prayer works and if you find comfort from praying, as I do, then please try it. I pray that I will not live for many more years (I am nearly 68) and will be reunited with Ruth. We have a double grave so whatever happens after death I know that we will be together forever.

Lots of hugs.... Brendan

Jul 25, 2012
Soul Mate
by: Brendan

I lost my true soul mate on 3rd May, 2012. Ruth had been my whole world since we first met in 1964. I was her first boyfriend and she was my first girlfriend. She was 17; I was 19. We were immediately attracted to each other and our love grew and grew. We married in 1967 and have two wonderful sons.

About 6 years ago Ruth was diagnosed with Parkinsons Disease, later changed to Multiple System Atrophy, which is much worse although we did not know at the time. She continued to fight her problems and remained very mobile until last December when a simple fall indoors let to emergency brain surgery and pneumonia. She pulled through and in mid-February she came home. We were overjoyed at being properly together again even though I had spent 10-12 hours with her every day whilst she was in hospital.

On 3rd May Ruth collapsed as she got out of bed in the morning and despite all efforts by me and the ambulance crew she never regained consciousness and died later in hospital. Her cause of death was Sepsis from a urinary infection, which was like a sledgehammer blow to me.

I am broken to pieces as I cared for Ruth throughout our life together, especially so as her mobility became impaired and even more so since she came out of hospital. How someone can pull through two critical illnesses in the space of 10 days and then die so quickly from a UTI which had no symptoms is something I cannot comprehend.
We were everything to each other. We went everywhere and did everything together. We had few friends as we were more contented to be alone with each other and we shared our hobbies and interests. Ruth was a patch worker and our house is full of the mist exquisite quilts and wall-hangings. Before every project she would consult me on her choice of colors, patters, etc.

I am told that time heals but now, 12 weeks after Ruth died, I feel worse every day and I do not know how I will manage for the rest of my life.
My only consolation is that Ruth died quickly and will not have to suffer the dreadful progress of MSA, which could leave her dumb and totally disabled in hospital. She died in our bedroom with me and neither of us could have asked for more.

God Bless you my Ruth Angela. You were a bright light in my life for 48 years and a true Angel on Earth. I miss you terribly and I love you more every day.. XX


Mar 02, 2011
Feel your pain
by: Mischelle (WI)

Michelle,

I just signed onto this today and read your message. First off let me tell you how deeply sorry I am for your loss. Soulmates are dear and you know when you have one. I lost mine 1/3/11 this year, very tragically as well. You say you loved him more now that you are married. That is what I would tell mine too. In fact, I write a journal to him everyday, reminding him of how much I still care and love him everyday. Again, I am so very sorry about your loss, but I do understand. This past month I tried to go back to work and its backfired completely because I listened to everyone else saying you need to go, it will be good for you. Well, don't do that. When you are ready to do things, do them. Next thing I am going to tell you is that people kept telling me to be strong. Those words have completely pushed me over the edge. I don't want to be strong right now, I want to mourn my loss. You do the same. If there is one thing I am learning is that you have to take care of you. This was an awful situation you were put into, and I won't lie, it will take a long time before it gets easier. In my heart, I do know that it will. Again, I am so sorry for your loss. I wish I would have found this site weeks after my husbands accident because I think it could have helped. Do remember there are people for you. Rely on them. They do want to help. That is helping me right now.

Take care and God Bless,
Mischelle (Fountain City, WI)

Feb 24, 2011
so sorry
by: Jackie

Hi Michele, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my wonderful husband in October of last year. While your pain is so new and raw come here for comfort, we all help each other. I come here everyday but I don't comment everyday. Everyone here is in the same situation. We help each other get through this very difficult time. Take your time and take things slow. You will survive, but it won't be easy. My heart goes out to you. Please know that my prayers are with you at this very difficult time. Take care of yourself.

Feb 21, 2011
My heart goes out to you
by: Liz L.

Michelle,
I was looking on this website for a client of mine that lost their sibling a few months ago when I came across and saw your posting. My heart breaks for you. Your husband sounded so amazing. I know you must be devastated. I suggest for right now to only be around people that can help you in a positive way. it wont matter what people say to you right now. You are in no place for much conversation. i am sure you are in shock. He sounded like your everything. Not many people have ever experienced what mutual love you had for each other. My heart goes out to you and your family.
Sincerely,
Liz L.

Feb 21, 2011
My Everything
by: TrishJ

I lost my everything on December 3, 2010. My whole life just blew up in my face. I had to get through all of those family holidays without him. My heart was literally torn out. I went through the first two months on autopilot. Now.....The reality is settling in. He's not coming back. I'm afraid, I'm lonely and still spend 1/2 the day crying. I have to find my way although I'm barely taking baby steps.

I'm leaning heavily on my faith. I believe there is a plan for all of our lives. God decided it was time to take Joe. I don't understand it but it is something I will have to learn to live with. It's like trying to ride a bicycle uphill against a tornado. Some days I'm just tired and can't deal with it.

This site has been a huge help to me. There are many wonderful people here who understand because we are all going through the same thing.
Love those around you, take a deep breath, and ask God for his help. He will listen. Just when things are at their darkest I get a small sign from Joe telling me everything is OK. All things are possible through God.
Blessings and a big hug.
PJ

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Lost Spouse/ True Love.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • XML RSS
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget
->


 POPULAR
  RESOURCES


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the

GRIEF CLUB


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief
Program

Free Griefwork
E-Course

Free Stress
Management
E-Course



SBI Video Tour!