I lost my wife my everything after 38 years of marriage.
After 38 years of a wonderful marriage my wife died October 25th 2011 from a massive heart attack. She was only 53 years old. We married when she was 15 and I was 20.She wasn't sick or anything just very sudden (shocking). As all great marriages should be she was my companion,best friend,help mate,lover and other things words can't describe.I'm having a very hard time dealing with my wife's death. I'm a Christian and I know she is in Heaven but she is not with me (selfish). We talked many times that when we die we would want to die together but that didn't happen although I wish we would have. After 3 weeks of my wife's death I disgraced my Lord and Savior,God,my wife and my entire family by starting to drink alcohol (beer).One night I was so depressed that I drank too much and took some Ativan that was prescribed to me. I had a reaction and collapsed in the bathroom exactly the same place where my wife was found.My daughter found me and was hysterical thinking I had committed suicide because when I fell I hit my head on something and there was much blood coming from my head.When they realized I was still alive they called an ambulance and was taken to the hospital and from the hospital was placed in a behavior center (thinking I was trying to kill myself). I was there for 8 days and released and now must see a Psychiatrist also I'm joining a group for persons who have lost spouses. "Lord please help me each day,hour,minute" to cope with my great loss.
Signed: So ashamed