I lost the love of my life almost 2 years ago. I'm lost, help

by Cindy
(Pinedale, WY USA)

July 1st 2010 my Husband Charlie didn't wake up. His alarm went off and he didn't turn it off. I nudged him and nothing. I nudged him again then got up to turn off the alarm. I touched his arm and it was like ice. He was gone. I do thank God for him not to have had any pain. But I'm am totally lost with out him. I always thought that I was pretty independent, boy was I wrong. He did so much for me and let me think I was independent. We had been together for 30 years. I was a housewife and mother, I have no trade for employment and I can't concentrate. We had no Insurance. So now I'm alone and lost. Help

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Jun 22, 2012
Lost and Lonely
by: TrishJ

I read an article recently on grief. The lady wrote, "We spend so many years (in my case it was 37) growing together as one and suddenly we are torn in half." That's my situation. I feel as if half of me is missing. My problem is I've been trying for 18 months to get that other half to grow back. It's not happening.
I have to move on but I have no desire too. I also pretty much lost everything we had to my husband's illness. I don't regret one thing we did trying to save his life.....but here I am. It's a scary situation isn't it? Not for the faint of heart.
I have recently started teaching a Sunday school class ~ something I couldn't do before with my husband so ill. It's very rewarding and healing. It lifts our spirits to reach out and help someone. Good things come back to us when we do.
I know the days are lonely and life without our loves is very unappealing. All we can do is make the best of our difficult situations.
I pray for peace for you. Some days that's all I ask for.....just a little peace.
God bless.

Jun 21, 2012
I lost the love of my life. I'm lost HELP
by: Doreen England U.K.

Dear Cindy
I am sorry for the loss of your husband Charlie of 30 years and for the way this loss is affecting your life now. You are facing the first stages of grief and your loss has thrown you in at the deep end.
Surfacing is all the problems that you didn't think was a problem. Boy we get it so wrong thinking we have our husband's forever. I was so wrong here and got a shock losing Steve after 44yrs. of marriage. I had 3yrs.39days nursing Steve through cancer and was devastated when he died even though I had time to prepare for this I was unprepared as I was waiting for a miracle. Unlike you. Your husband died a sudden death and you are in Shock right now. Wondering how you are going to cope. Realizing you don't have the necessary skills for employment. Realizing you have all the house administration to take care of and now feel as if you are sinking.
Firstly. Don't Worry. Get key people in place to help and support you. Take one day at a time. If you didn't have Insurance sort this out first for the funeral. Perhaps the government give grants and can help you. Perhaps a relative can help you. You won't be able to think clearly right now about what you have to do to help yourself. You need people around you to support you and help. Each of my relatives took one section of jobs whether it be Admin. e.g. cancelling car insurance. etc. I made lists of everything that had to be done and then ticked off what hadn't been done. I then made new lists and narrowed it down so it didn't look so long and took it from there. You probably have more skills than you realize. Make a priority list and work you way down this. Don't keep everything in your head. This is when it all goes wrong and seems like a mountain. Then we can't cope. YOU WILL COPE. Just put in place what you have to and then go for counselling so a counsellor can support you whilst you work through everything. Best wishes

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