I lost the only member of my family that I truly loved....
I was a 54 year old woman who lost her brother, Ryan, in a motorcycle crash in June 2011, only 8 days from his 56th B-Day. We were so close in age, we coulda' been twins, and we shared the 1st 5 years of our lives together exactly that way.
Unconsciously, I leaned on him over the years, not really knowing why. We lived on opposite sides of the continent, but he was always my rock,thru thick & thru thin. I guess I knew he would support me unconditionally, and he truly did!
He survived an emergent heart cath in 2004,where he had 3 stents placed. I guess I took for granted that this procedure had saved his life for another many years to come.
I was wrong...on the evening of June 20, 2011, the summer solstice, he rode from work on his brand new motorcycle and somehow lost control of it. It was a 1-vehicle MVA. He was thrown from the bike, for whatever reason with his kinda'-sorta-helmet, like the ones they wore in WWII. Needless to say, the helmet flew from his head prior to his landing on the asphalt, head-first. He sustained a traumatic, irreversible brain injury. Sheering, midline shift & truncation were involved in the final determination of injuries that led to his demise.
I was 3500 miles from him, in Illinois. He lived in Oregon. I spoke with other family members & medical staff over the phone as they described his failing condition and imminent death. I flew to Oregon the day after his death, and I was filled with such grief, I believe I cried the entire 5 days I spent there.
It is now 3/13/13, and I feel worse than I felt the day he passed away. Everything in my life changed the day that he died. I lost both of my parents previously as well as many, many, many friends & family members, but none compared with this one.
I have only 2 surviving siblings, both younger than me, in my close family structure. Not sure if I just do not care to deal with their selfish ways or I really cannot tolerate their lack of respect for the rest of humankind or I am just so angry that nothing will appease me now. I am losing both of them to my anger. PLEASE HELP ME!!