I Lost Them All

I am the baby out of 9 children. My mother lost her first when he was only an infant. Six years ago my sister passed away after a long battle with cancer. It was very difficult, we were so close and it was terrible watching my mother suffer the loss of her daughter. The following year, I lost my brother. Then the next year I lost two brothers in the same year. Then last summer I lost my mom. Last week I lost my last brother. Me and my two oldest sisters are all that is left out of a big family. Every passed on so close in time to one another. Cancer, diabetes, aneurysm, heart complications.

All my siblings were middle aged when they passed on and now I am approaching the same age. I am kind scared, its like we have been cursed.

I feel alone, bitter, sad, guilty. so many emotions. It was horrible watching my mom suffer through the loss of so many children, but to watch her pass on simply devastated my spirit.

I miss my family. I miss my parents. I would do anything for just one more day with them all. I am a mother and now I am always telling my children to really appreciate one another as life on this planet is short.

My heart and prayers go out to everyone who has suffered loss... I dont know if I will ever be whole again.

Comments for I Lost Them All

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Jul 24, 2012
Thank you all so much ...
by: jazz

Thank all of you for leaving comments. Your kind words and support have really touched my heart. I have been doing alot of reflecting lately and cherishing memories with my family. Life really is a precious gift from God and our Gift back is how we choose to live it.

I have accepted that death is a part of life and it is something that will happen to us all. Even if we lose loved ones, we to shall depart one day.

Each day that we live we should give thanks to God and try to become the best we can be. We need to learn how to let go of guilt as guilt is just the devils way of keeping us down and holding us back.

Let us learn from our pasts and move forward into productive futures. When satan reminds you of your past to guilt trip you, remind him of his future. God does not give us tests that we cannot handle. I believe God knows better than we do and sometimes he puts us through difficult tests because he has plans for us and we are not going to reach certain levels of understanding unless we live through the struggle.

I pray for all of us. I pray God grants us his mercy and guidance. Again, thank you all so much.

Jul 20, 2012
There arent any comforting words...... My codolences!!!
by: Stephanie


I honestly canNOT even imagine how hard this has been for you loosing a family member back to back then your preciius mother. Do you have kids?? I think that might be the only reason to try to get well and act strong evenif your not. I am an only child only have had my dad and my mom, the rest of my falmily is in Argentina and i truly am alone. Yes i have my beautiful mother but ........ I see myself parting away from her than how i usually ben with her. Sweety my father passed 3 yrs 3months ago and i am only fine when i dont think about him but when i do .........in my mind hell breaks loose. I am not myself. Its been so long and instead its getting worse. If you have faith in god and if that helps you........ Than try. I have been told it eases the pain but........ Doesent work for everybody. My heart goes out to you!!!!

Jul 19, 2012
Elevate your pain
by: Helen

I can cannot even imagine the intense pain and hurt you are going through I lost my dad 5 months ago.
I thought my health was suffering so I went to the doctor, I even thought I was having a heart attack, my dad died suddenly from it. I was told I was suffering from stress due to my dad dying suddenly and unexpectedly.
I even went to see a heart specialist incase I had the same problems, I did this two months after his death. Do whatever it takes to elevate your fears.
Life seems to have changed for me since dad died, nothing seems to be important except the love of our emailing family.
If you are scared about what happened to your family go and have a thorough physical check up at the doctors, it put my mind at rest and get on with a so called normal life after the death of dad.
My life has changed since dads death, it's like my life is on hold, I don't feel like I can live life to the fullest and there is a cloud hanging over my head, which bleeds when something reminds me of dad, however, there are some glimpses, and peeks of a blue horizon, I just wish it would come quicker.
The loss of so many family members may feel like many thunderstorms and your bleeding heart will need support.
my wish for you is to seek support from remaining members of your family and if they find it hard to listen, then maybe the support of a grief counsellor.

Jul 19, 2012
I Lost Them All
by: Doreen U.K.

Dear Brokenhearted,
I am so sorry for your massive loss of your siblings and then your Mom. You say you feel bitter, angry, sad, lonely, and guilty. These are all the symptoms of Grief. Because you have suffered a massive loss I think you would seriously benefit from grief bereavement counselling. This is too much for you to cope with all on your own. You have children and a family and you do need support.
Don't concentrate on being whole. This won't happen for a long time. You have much grief work to do before this happens. You have to go through the pain in order to become as whole as you can be. You are badly fractured by this loss and you will need a lot of support and care. Your two sisters left will need support as you will all be grieving differently and at different times. You say you feel as if you have been cursed. It would make you feel this way. If you believe in God. Try and seek out a pastor of a church and ask for a blessing on your remaining family and to protect your immediate family, e.g yourself, husband, and children. It just needs one person in the family to open the door to supernatural things and this also could bring a curse on your family so you do need spiritual support. If a family has multiple suicide deaths then this is due to a curse and this needs intervention by the church to break this curse. I do understand something of this realm. I urge anyone not to dabble into the supernatural or anything that could bring a curse on you because it is harder to break and just passes from generation to generation as a stronghold on the family. Be Brave, strong, and put some key people in your life to support you all at this difficult time. I don't know if you will ever become whole again after such a loss as you have had. But you will recover from grief if you get the right support and you will be able to move forward. You will never forget. But the pain will get less. You will become stronger in areas you didn't know you would be able to. You will be happy again.

Jul 18, 2012
Bless you!
by: PhyllisAnonymous

Your sad story brought tears to my ears, I lost me Momma 5 yrs ago & I miss her everday, then Dad passed & my best friend, it is so hard, but 7 mths ago I lost my youngest son at 39, it is so much harder than losing my parents, he lived close & was single always here helping out cooking watching a movie, My life will never be happy again with out my Chaddy, I will pray for you, just think one day we can be with them all for ever with Jesus, this thought is all that keeps me going! Hugs Phyllis

Jul 18, 2012
by: Ella in TX

Your story is devastating.....I will keep you in my prayer.....

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